


Journey to the Dark Palace

by HeadphonesChild, neondemon69



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Angst and Drama, Comfort/Angst, Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders Angst, Dark Comedy, Mystery, Other, Romance, Slice of Life
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-02
Updated: 2020-11-15
Packaged: 2021-03-06 19:35:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 33,147
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26254261
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HeadphonesChild/pseuds/HeadphonesChild, https://archiveofourown.org/users/neondemon69/pseuds/neondemon69
Summary: Virgil took a deep breath, opened his eyes, and spoke. "Before I tell you the news, I would like to say… you weren't all right about the Others not being good. I...I left the Dark Palace for the Mind Palace because the Others and I, we… we didn't see eye to eye… we had different opinions. They believe their flaws are a good thing, and I can’t get behind that idea. Then, I found out about you guys, and I knew I had to meet you… I mean, I’m a Dark Side meant to protect Thomas, to keep Thomas safe. I knew was supposed to join you guys and guide you and help you, especially today..." Virgil’s voice trailed off towards the end, his thoughts becoming a loud, jumbled, anxious mess.Roman carefully approached Virgil, a soft frown on his face. "It's okay, Virgil… There’s nothing to be scared of. We're here to make things bette-" Virgil cut him off, anger clear on his features. But behind the anger, was a far more obvious fear."I know Roman! I'm trying to be brave, but the truth is-!..." Virgil stopped himself from raising his voice any further. He took a shaky breath, speaking calmly, trying to clear his mind. "You’re… You’re all going to become one of them, and I'm supposed to help..."
Relationships: Anxiety | Virgil & Creativity | Roman & Logic | Logan & Morality | Patton & Thomas Sanders, Anxiety | Virgil Sanders & Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders, Anxiety | Virgil Sanders/Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders, Anxiety | Virgil Sanders/Deceit | Janus Sanders, Anxiety | Virgil Sanders/Logic | Logan Sanders, Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders/Morality | Patton Sanders, Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders & Deceit | Janus Sanders, Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders/Logic | Logan Sanders, Logic | Logan Sanders/Morality | Patton Sanders
Comments: 2
Kudos: 28





	1. Journey to the Dark Palace

**Author's Note:**

> ok so this fanfiction means a lot to me i started this fanfiction when I was young and living with a abusive parents and then i lived in a motel and now i live with my brother to get back on track  
> so this fanfiction has been with me through thick and then I've been trying to make it into a podfic with voice actors, artist, ect just low on people willing to help 
> 
> i also feel like it's important to say HeadphonesChild helped me edit they're a huge help and i hope you check out their work it would be a understatement to say they're art style is more than worth looking at and I'm so very thankful for them helping me edit it always makes my day to read their edits

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Roman feels bad for everything he's done. His past with Virgil isn't the cleanest. Don't get him wrong, he still doesn't trust his brother or Deceit, but he still doesn't want to hurt another Side that's innocent like Virgil. That's not very princely. He wants to learn more about the Dark Sides. Virgil has the answers.

Roman sat at the table with the others. Patton had made everyone dinner, like he usually did. Logan wasn’t working for once, so he could spend time with the family, and Virgil was oddly calm. The space was peaceful, everyone seemingly enjoying each other's company. Roman could feel himself relaxing after his long day as he tuned into the table’s conversation. 

“Hmm. Interesting. I didn’t know much about them; I appreciate you telling me,” Logan told Virgil, who rolled his eyes with a small shrug.  


“Yeah, well, I kinda figured you would ask me later on anyway,” he admitted. Roman raised an eyebrow, a little confused as he attempted to piece the conversation together.  


“What are we all talking about here?” Roman asked, sitting up in his chair a little straighter to hear them better. 

“Oh, Roman. Virgil was just telling us some information about the Dark Sides,” Logan explained vaguely as Virgil looked down, picking at his food absently. He thought it was pretty clear that Roman didn’t feel comfortable talking about them, and thought of them as villains and nothing else. However, after Virgil revealed he had become a light side, Roman was more curious and confused about it, than anything else. He still didn't trust Deceit, mind you... But Virgil wasn’t that bad, so what did that say about the others? He’d started questioning his feelings on the Dark Sides, wondering if there were others like Virgil that had become Light, or any that actually had good intentions. 

Roman looked up. “I was curious about them too…” he admitted to Virgil. This seemed to take the anxious side by surprise.  


“Oh…” Virgil mumbled under his breath. He shifted in his seat nervously before looking up at Roman. “Well… what did you want to know?” he asked. 

Roman smiled. “Well, I was wondering, naturally, where they come from-” he cut himself off upon hearing the nervous intake of air from Virgil.  


“Could we do that question later...?” Virgil mumbled, looking back at his plate. Roman nodded simply.  


“Yes, of course! How rude of me. Maybe start with something simple… How come Deceit has scales? I haven’t seen much of the other Dark Sides have something like that, and for us it’s unusual.” Roman gestured around the table. “I mean, you don’t have any.” Virgil winced, but nodded. 

“Yeah, it’s... that’s complicated. It’s more of a rare thing to have. Most of the Others see it as a lucky thing to get, but some of them have feathers or metal parts,” Virgil explained.

Logan blinked. “How would a body with metal in it function? Wouldn’t it corrode due to rust created from moisture from the air and the body?” He asked.  


“Well, we normally do things to prevent that,” Virgil explained. “Abstaining from excess physical activity, using fresh water to clean the parts frequently and drying them thoroughly...”

“Oh! Does that mean that if Logan was a Dark Side, he would be a robot?” Patton interjected, joining the conversation suddenly. He was grinning widely, looking excited at the idea. Logan opened his mouth as if to say something about it, but shut it as he started thinking. Virgil began to answer when Patton spoke again. “Oh! Oh! What if I was half animal thingy!?” His voice had raised an octave, showing his excitement. Virgil had to think about it for a moment. 

“Well… the Others don’t really have allergies, so I guess you could probably be part cat… That suits you,” Virgil admitted to him. Patton couldn’t seem to help but squeak in joy as he heard that.

Logan just seemed more confused. “How would that even be possible, for us to have allergies and not them? Then again, allergies are just your body reacting poorly to things in your immune system… Virgil, how does that work? Is there something I’m missing?” Logan asked. Virgil just shrugged.  


“They probably told me, but I forgot,” Virgil admitted. 

“Who do you think told you? I’d like to speak with them myself and learn more about the Dark Sides.” Logan seemed excited at the prospect.  


Suddenly, Roman put his hand up to stop the conversation. “Wait,” he said, making everyone stop talking and look at Roman.  


“Yeah? What is it, Sir Sing-a-Lot?” Virgil asked. His tone verged on annoyed at having been interrupted. 

“I’ve been thinking, and I… well, I want to see the Dark Sides myself, instead of having you explain them to me- and it’s not that I don’t trust you! I’ve just… I was so wrong about you and I don’t want to be wrong again. So… I want to see them for myself.” Roman admitted, looking down.  


“Hmm…” Logan hummed in consideration. “That’s actually a fairly good idea, Roman. I think I just might join you. I’m rather intrigued as to how the Dark Palace works,” he admitted. He took another bite of his dinner, the table silent around him, the shock of him agreeing with Roman evident on everyone’s face. Logan looked up, and narrowed his eyes. “What?”

Virgil seemed to be on edge. “I'm not sure… if that’s a good idea…” Virgil said in a slight mumble.He was picking at his food again. Logan raised an eyebrow.  


“Oh? Why’s that?” Logan asked.  


“Nothing!” Virgil took a shaky breath. “It’s just… there are a lot of them, and I'm not sure if you're all ready to see… well… the whole Dark Side thing...” he admitted to them as he moved his food around on his plate with his fork. He was nervous about what the others would see, and what they would think of the Dark Palace. He was especially worried that it would make them hate him, but he didn’t have the nerve to admit that. 

Patton looked at him with a small smile. “Virgil, you were one of them. We want to learn about you and understand your past with them,” Patton’s voice was kind and reassuring.  


Roman nodded, agreeing with Patton before speaking. “I don’t want to do to the others what I did to you,” he said. His voice held an undertone of guilt.

Logan gave a small smile, which meant a lot coming from him. “I would like to know more about the Dark Sides, so if I come across one I don’t know, I'll have the knowledge to be ready for anything that happens and have the ability to protect Thomas,” he explained.  


Virgil sighed. “It’s going to take you a long time to learn everything about them… I mean, there's a lot more of them then there are Light Sides,” he admitted quietly, thinking that would dissuade them. The others were visibly disappointed. They seemed to really want to learn more about Virgil. Virgil took a shaky breath in an attempt to calm his nerves. “But… okay. It’ll take a while, but if that’s what makes you happy...” The rest perked up a bit. 

“Aw, thanks kiddo! We know your past isn’t exactly the best, but we want to make you comfortable, and we’ll do whatever we can to make that happen.” Patton’s voice was full of honesty and emotion.  


Virgil nodded with a weak smile. ‘Maybe this won’t be so bad...’ he thought to himself. Logan looked over at Virgil.  


“I believe that the best process to learn about them would be to visit each Dark Side one by one and attempt to see their rooms. It may be slow going, but all of our curiosities about the Dark Sides will be met,” Logan thought aloud. Virgil nodded. 

“That’s going to take a while, but… I’m willing to give it a shot, I guess...” Virgil said. “But before we go, could we finish dinner? I haven’t gotten to eat much of anything yet…” he admitted. 

Patton nodded, a guilty smile on his face. “Of course, kiddo. Eat up. I wouldn’t want you starving now.” Virgil gave a grateful smile, taking a small bite of his food and relaxing. He was relieved they weren’t going yet. He didn’t think he could handle that.

The others continued talking as they normally would during dinner. Roman dramatically retold a story of him defeating another dragon, with Patton fretting over him getting hurt. Logan rambled about a book he was reading that interested Virgil. It was nice, but Virgil knew it wouldn’t last. After all, they were going into the Dark Palace. In a way, he knew they needed this. That he needed this. It would be better if they learned everything they could about the Others, sooner than later.


	2. The Dark living Room

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Virgil takes the others to the Dark Palace for the first time, only for the others to see and hear a little more than they initially bargained for.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ok so this fanfiction means a lot to me i started this fanfiction when I was young and living with a abusive parents and then i lived in a motel and now i live with my brother to get back on track  
> so this fanfiction has been with me through thick and then I've been trying to make it into a podfic with voice actors, artist, ect just low on people willing to help
> 
> i also feel like it's important to say HeadphonesChild helped me edit they're a huge help and i hope you check out their work it would be a understatement to say they're art style is more than worth looking at and I'm so very thankful for them helping me edit it always makes my day to read their edits

Virgil finished his food in silence. He looked up from his plate, only to sigh upon seeing the others looking at him. “Alright. I guess… let’s go,” he said, standing up. Logan’s eyes followed Virgil. 

“Virgil, if it would not be too much to ask, could we explore the Dark Palace’s living room?” Logan started. “I find the living conditions of the Dark Palace very interesting. Of course, only if it would not be too much harm, that is.”

Virgil nodded. “I guess that wouldn’t be too horrible to start with...” he hummed. Roman flashed a grin. 

“Is it alright if I take my sword?” Roman didn’t really sound like he was asking, more just giving a warning. Virgil raised his eyebrow.

“Just don’t go swinging it around all crazy, Princey.” Virgil said. Logan nodded. 

“I agree with Virgil. Your sword is highly dangerous at the best of times.” Roman groaned. “Yeah, alright! I got it!” Roman said, obviously annoyed.

Patton gave a gentle smile to Virgil. “Ready kiddo?” He asked. Virgil nodded and shoved his hands into his pockets, beginning to walk. Roman gave a confused noise, causing Virgil to look back. 

“Wait, can't we just Sink Out into the Dark Palace?” Roman asked, walking quickly to catch up to Virgil. Virgil bit his lip and shook his head.

“No...it’s not that easy to teleport there...”

Logan nodded, obviously confused, but tabling his questions for later. “Lead the way then,” Logan said, sweeping his hand in front of him. Patton was grinning brightly, thinking this might be a fun adventure for him and his family. Roman was brimming with excitement. 

“Well, let’s get on with it!” Roman’s eyes were practically glowing. Virgil couldn’t help the small smile that slipped onto his face at the childish behavior of the others. He started walking, leading the others through a hallway deep in the Mind Palace and walked into an empty room. Everything in the room was dull and grey. Nothing was clean and bright, but nothing was dark and musty. A perfect inbetween. The others looked around. 

“ Kiddo…” Patton’s voice was tense and unsure. “ This doesn't look right... In fact, this looks like a place where spiders would live and, I mean... you know how I feel about that…” Roman nodded in agreement.

“Shouldn’t the Dark Palace have, like, this big, you know, door or something? A grand entryway?” He gestured around the room dramatically, making Virgil snicker and shake his head.

“The only way to reach the Dark Palace is down.” Virgil grabbed an old, rusty crowbar and stabbed it into the floor, pulling up the damaged wooden flooring to show a hidden door. Logan crouched down to take a closer look. 

“Fascinating…” He adjusted his glasses. “I suppose that makes sense. Dark Sides are meant to be in the back of Thomas's mind, his subconscious, and I don’t think any one of us wanted to go here before today.” Patton looked hesitant. 

“Virgil? Are there going to be spiders down there?” Patton asked. Roman gave a confident grin. 

“Don’t worry, Padre. I’ll keep you safe.”

Virgil rolled his eyes. “You guys will be fine.” He opened the hidden door, walking down a narrow staircase. He glanced back at the other behind him. “Though Roman wasn’t wrong. There is a door.” He walked to the bottom of the stairs, to a wooden door stained black. It was covered in symbols and patterns unrecognizable to the Light Sides. A single large, obsidian gem sat in the middle of the door. The others stared in stunned silence.

“That’s... a lot of details for one door...” Patton said. Roman nodded, admiring the carvings. He followed down the narrow staircase hesitantly, ending up standing beside Virgil. Patton and Logan followed slowly behind. 

“I wonder if these were hand carved…” Roman gently touched one of the carvings, one of a distorted lion, with awe. Virgil shrugged. 

“Probably. But I don’t know who would have done it.” Virgil grabbed the doorknob, opening the door for the others. They filed into the Dark Palace behind Virgil. The door slammed shut suddenly, a small part of the door moving down and making a locking noise behind the group. The gemstone on the door suddenly changed from a black obsidian into some kinda gem that was black with dots of gray. It almost resembled snowflakes.

“Virgil, is that...normal?” Patton asked. His voice was tense and nervous. Virgil bit his lip, attempting to calm his anxiety. 

“I...I...” Virgil hesitated. He knew what had just happened, but he didn’t want to tell them. Even more so, he didn’t want to lie to the others. Roman narrowed his eyes, marching up to the Dark Palace door. He tried to open it, throwing his body against it and slicing at the gemstone with his sword. When the door didn’t budge, he threw his arms up in distress. 

“I can’t believe it! We’re locked in...” Roman whipped around suddenly toward Virgil. “Did you do this on purpose?!” Roman asked, his voice angry and defensive. Virgil’s eyes widened and he quickly shook his head, holding up his hands.

“N-No! Roman, you know I wouldn’t do this… I mean, I didn't think this would happen! Look, the Dark Palace kinda has a mind of its own-” he attempted to explain.

"OH, SO NOW WE’RE IN A MONSTER HOUSE JUST CAUSE YOU COULDN’T WARN US BEFORE HAND?!” Roman shouted. Anger was clear in his voice, making Virgil flinch back. He shook his head vigorously. 

“No! What? It’s-it’s nothing like that! I mean... it’s more complicated than that...whenever the Dark Palace senses that something important needs to be done, it just kinda makes it… happen. And it’s nothing bad that it wants to happen! I mean... I don’t really know...” Virgil’s voice trailed off towards the end, sounding more and more unsure of himself. He was looking away from the group, unable to bear seeing their angry and disappointed faces. He rubbed his upper arm in anxiety. 

Logan had walked up to the door and ran his fingers along the gemstone. Patton was a few steps behind, looking equal parts nervous and curious. “Interesting…” Logan hummed, not taking his eyes off the gemstone. “I believe this is snowflake obsidian... but what would it be doing here?” Patton gave a small squeak. His face brightened slightly and he took a step closer to the door. 

“That’s why it looks familiar! Snowflake obsidian is supposed to help keep your mind and body balanced, right?” Patton looked to Logan for reassurance. Logan gave a surprised nod.

“Yes... how did you know that?” Patton gave Logan a shy smile.

“Remember when Thomas and Joan went looking around at yard sales and he found a book about gemstones?” Logan nodded. “There was a whole chapter on wellness stones.”

Logan looked back at the gemstone, voice calm. “It also, supposedly, works like a mirror. It can reflect who you really are as a person, and show you your weaknesses. However, I am unsure if that is a good thing or a bad thing.”

Roman groaned from the other side of the small room. “Shut up, Pocket Protector. Unless you’re gonna tell me you know how to open the door, I don’t care.” His tone was sharp and irritated. His hand was gripped firmly around his sword, so tightly his knuckles were turning white. Patton turned towards Roman, a small frown on his face. He walked towards him, tugging in the sleeves on the cardigan wrapped around his shoulders. 

“Come on kiddo, there’s no need to be like that. I’m sure it’ll be fine.” He offered a small, reassuring smile. Roman narrowed his eyes suspiciously. 

“Patton, why are you so calm? We’re locked in an evil castle.” Patton gestured around the room, smiling even wider.

“Well, because I'm with my family! Besides, you’re protecting us right?” Roman instantly brightened at Patton’s words. The Moral side knew that Roman was stressed and needed to feel needed in times like this.

“Well, of course! What kind of prince would I be if I didn’t protect everyone?” Roman held himself proudly. 

“Well? Are we ready?” Virgil asked, looking around at the others. They all nodded, and Virgil led them from the small room. The small room, the room with the door, appeared to be some kind of front hall. It opened directly into the living room, which, while being just as dark, felt much larger. The only light was that of the gentle glow of the gemstone on the door in the front hall in the other room, so all that could be seen was the Sides themselves and the floor around them. Roman visibly tensed. 

“Well... I suppose it is called the Dark Palace for a reason…” he mumbled. The light of the gemstone glinted off his sword blade. Virgil nodded, barely seen in the darkness. 

“They don’t do well in light. I think the only lights they have are one in here, the kitchen, and the hallway. Give me a minute.” He walked blindly into the black darkness, flicking a switch a moment later that turned on an overhead blacklight. It wasn’t powerful, but it allowed the full room to be seen. 

Roman gave Virgil a confused look. “How can they live like this?” The room was messy, desks and computers set up haphazardly. The chairs were half pulled out and in walkways. Patton cautiously approached a desk. 

“Why do they have so many computers in the living room?” He asked.

“Some of them like doing things 'together', the way Logan and I do.” Virgil explained. Logan nodded in understanding.

“Solitary activities together.” He interjected. Virgil nodded.

“Yeah. That. Most of them just do things on their computer, but out here with others. That’s their idea of socializing. They're loners though, so of course they all spend most of their time in their rooms anyways…” Patton smiled a little. From what he was hearing, most of the Dark Sides seemed very similar to Virgil. He was sure they could all get along.

Logan glanced around the living room, mainly uninterested. “Virgil, may I take a look at the kitchen? I would like to see their diets.”

Virgil gave a hesitant nod. “I guess... give me a moment.” Virgil walked into the kitchen, turning on the light. The kitchen sink was filled with dishes, bugs and mice running to hide from the light. The others tensed at the sight, Patton letting out a small, distressed shriek.

“Oh my gosh heck,Virgil! How did you live in... this fifth!?” Roman asked. Virgil just shrugged, desensitized to the sight. Patton turned to glare at Roman.

“Don’t be rude, Roman! For all we know, they might not have the time to do dishes.” Patton’s face lit up. “Hey, I know! Maybe I could clean the kitchen!” Patton began walking towards the sink, his want to help outweighing the terror he felt. Virgil anxiously grabbed Patton's wrist before he could do anything. 

“Wait, Patton!” He took a shaky breath. “As much as you want to help ... some of the Others don't like anything in the kitchen to be messed with. Some things in here are important to them, and so… could you just avoid touching anything in here?”

Patton gave a small nod despite the confusion on his face. “Yeah, of course!” He thought for a moment. “What about the living room? Can I just, like, pick up the trash?” Virgil bit his lip but nodded, rubbing his upper arm again.

“Yeah... I guess that’s alright. Just... be careful not to break anything,” Virgil said. Patton gave a wide smile. 

“Of course kiddo!” Patton said. He grabbed a half-full trash bag that was on the counter and went to the living room to start cleaning with a determined look on his face.

Logan opened up the fridge, looking inside out of curiosity. The fridge wasn’t running. There was no light that turned on when the door opened, and no rush of cold air that followed the door. Meat was stacked on the shelves, far more than any normal person would own. Some of it was rotten and covered in mold. Sweets, like cakes and highly sugary snacks, were also prominent. Most were also covered with mold, or stale and hard as rocks. Logan was quick to shut the fridge, coughing from the smell of rotten and moldy food mixing with the sickeningly sugary sweet smell of the cakes and sweets. “Well... I suppose your diets aren’t quite… what I expected.” Logan said, catching his breath. Virgil looked away, an embarrassed grimace on his face.

“Yeah... we like raw meats and sugar and...well, that’s more filling than what you guys normally eat...” Virgil’s voice was nervous and quiet.

Patton perked up a bit from the living room upon hearing that. It was an odd prospect that had never crossed his mind, but now that Patton thought about it, it made perfect sense. “Oh, Virgil… it’s no wonder you’re always asking for more food then… if that’s what you need to eat, then you should have told me! I would have done something sooner.” Patton looked over at Virgil from the living room with a guilty smile. Virgil just shook his head.

“No no, Patton! It’s nothing like that! I really like your cooking, I... I just need to eat more when it comes to your food...” Virgil admitted. “It’s the only way to really get the proper nutrition to stay… healthy.” 

Logan continued to look through the kitchen, trying to learn what he could about the Dark Sides living here. He opened a cabinet and made a face upon finding a black, inky liquid along with a large supply of energy drinks of every brand and flavour. 

Roman looked around, wondering how he got into this mess when he suddenly heard some music. It sounded like it was coming from a piano… no, three pianos. Roman closed his eyes to listen trying to follow the sound. He opened his eyes, turning towards the hallway. He turned on the light, seeing doors upon doors lining the walls. The doors each had different symbols on them, symbols resembling those of the symbols on the gemstone door. He walked down the hallway, the piano music getting louder. By the time he had reached the end of the hall, it was deafening. Even with his hand covering his ears, Roman could hear the piano music ringing in his ears. He stumbled backwards, jumping as he bumped into something. He whipped around, seeing Virgil, who had stepped away from the group to find Roman. Virgil’s face held confusion and concern.

“There you are… are you okay?” Virgil’s voice sounded muffled, barely audible in comparison to the piano music. Roman shook his head vigorously, hands still clenching his ears.

“Can you not hear it?” Roman asked, voice raised in an attempt to hear himself. Virgil gave him a puzzled look. 

“Hear… what?”

“The pianos! It sounds like we’re right in front of them!” Roman’s voice held panic, which was uncommon for him. Virgil shook his head.

“I don’t hear anything, Roman. We should… we should get back to the others. We can talk to them about it later… They’ll probably know what to do.” Virgil was concerned for Roman. He hated that the Dark Palace had this effect on the others. Roman nodded, hands still clamped over his ears. He just wanted to get away from the sound, but he couldn’t seem to move. It was like the pianos were drawing him closer. Virgil seemed to notice this and grabbed his elbow, leading him out of the hallway. The pianos got quieter and quieter as they walked away from the end of the hall.

Patton was in the living room, cleaning. He picked up bottles of soda that were so old that there was nothing but syrup and mold in them. Patton couldn’t help feeling bad for the people who live here. The black light above him flickered slightly and he sighed. He felt Logan tap his shoulder. He looked over his shoulder, seeing Logan behind him… still in the kitchen. He was still looking through the cabinets. Logan caught his eye and furrowed his brow, concerned. “Patton, is everything alright?” Logan asked. Patton nodded, flashing a reassuring smile. 

“Yeah, of course! I thought something touched me... I guess it’s nothing,” he admitted as he picked up another bottle of old soda.

Logan, satisfied by Patton’s answer, opened another cabinet. Questions racked his brain as he looked at all the old cans of mushroom soup, some half open. As he reached to grab on, he heard a whisper from behind him. It didn’t sound like anyone he knew. He looked around confused, pausing as he heard another whisper, this one closer. 

“From here on in you shall never age...” 

Logan looked around more frantically. He didn’t believe in ghosts, but this wasn’t right. Something about this just felt… wrong. There was no logical explanation nearby, not even an air vent. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Patton shiver.

“It’s… getting pretty cold in here, isn’t it Logan?” Patton asked. Logan narrowed his eyes, doing one last quick scan of the room, before walking from the kitchen into the living room. He grabbed his hand, a sense of urgency in the action.

“We should go find Virgil,” Logan spoke as Virgil walked into the room with Roman, the other covering his ears and almost looking in pain. Logan tensed at the sight. “Virgil, I think there’s something wrong with this place...” Logan admitted. Virgil bit his lip. 

“What do you mean?” He asked.

“I thought… no, I know I heard someone speaking, and Patton felt something touching him and he suddenly got cold.” Logan explained. Roman looked surprised, and somewhat relieved. He dropped the hands from his ears and walked up to them. 

“I thought I was going crazy! I heard, like, two or three pianos playing at once! Virgil couldn’t hear them, but I thought I was going to go deaf!” Virgil looked between the three of them, his anxiety growing.

“I-I’m sorry, but I have no idea what’s going on! I don’t know why this is happening to you, this situation isn’t normal, even for the Others…” Virgil rubbed his upper arm, trying to think. “I should try to talk to the Others when they get back… they’ll probably know what’s going on. Right now though, we should probably talk to Janus- er, Deceit. It’s probably for the best that we’re not alone…”

The others looked around at each other nervously before slowly nodding “Alright... let’s go then kiddo...” Patton mumbled. He was clearly scared about what was going on, and Virgil felt the same way. He didn't know what was happening either.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> if anyone wants to help with the fanfiction in anyway when it comes to making the podfic feel free to message me on discord which is neondemon69#4240


	3. Sneaky Snake

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The others visit Janus in his room. The sneaky snake has some tricks up his sleeves.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ok so this fanfiction means a lot to me i started this fanfiction when I was young and living with a abusive parents and then i lived in a motel and now i live with my brother to get back on track  
> so this fanfiction has been with me through thick and then I've been trying to make it into a podfic with voice actors, artist, ect just low on people willing to help
> 
> i also feel like it's important to say HeadphonesChild helped me edit they're a huge help and i hope you check out their work it would be a understatement to say they're art style is more than worth looking at and I'm so very thankful for them helping me edit it always makes my day to read their edits

Chapter 3  
Sneaky Snake

Roman stepped in front of a door, Deceit's symbol carved intricately into the wood. Roman glanced over his shoulder to Virgil. "This is it, isn't it?" He asked. Virgil nodded, stepping closer towards the door.

"Yeah... that's it..." He knocked on the door, holding his breath anxiously. The snake-like side could be heard shuffling around his room. He opened his door, a look of dull surprise on his face as he scanned those standing on the other side of his door. 

“Oh?” He gave a small hum. “Yes, I was...expecting you all.” Roman creased his brows, looking at Deceit suspiciously.  
“You were?” Logan rolled his eyes at Roman’s question. Virgil sighed softly.

"...Deceit? Can we… Can we come in? I’ve gotten us into a bit of a situation, and… they want to learn more about the Others..." Virgil gestured around to the sides behind him. Deceit gave his signature smirk, giving a mock bow.  
"Oh? Is that so, Virgil? Are you saying what I think you're saying?" Deceit’s tone was teasing as he put one hand up to his ear. The others gave Virgil confused glaces, and he looked down in embarrassment

"Later, and not now! And definitely not by you!" Virgil looked up to glare, causing Deceit to let out a slight chuckled.  
"Oh yes, of course. Good luck with that.” He chuckled. From behind Virgil, Logan raised his hand curiously.  
"If I may ask… what are you talking about?" Virgil just shook his head, not looking back at him. 

"I’ll... tell you guys later..." Virgil murmured. Logan didn’t press any farther, figuring he’d learn about it in time. Besides, he was more interested in learning about the Dark Palace and Sides.  
"Very well…” he hummed. “Deceit? May we please come in? I would like to see your living space, if that's alright." Logan caught Deceit's eye, making the other look up at him. 

Deceit smirked. "Oh, drop the formalities. Call me Janus.” Roman let out a stifled laugh, causing Janus to glare at him. Roman quickly quieted, attempting to cover his laugh with a cough. JAnus chose to ignore him. “I suppose you can come in." He opened the door a little wider for the others, allowing them to step inside. His room was filled wall to wall with aquariums of different snakes. The room was kept a lot neater than the Dark Palace’s kitchen and living room. 

The others walked into the room, faces showing clear awe. Logan was the first to walk in. He was drawn towards the snakes. He could easily identify all of the snakes, even without the labels on the aquariums. However, what caught his eye was a large snake wrapped around a tree that Janus had growing in the corner of his room. It was a Green Tree Python. Most tree pythons are hostile, but Janus seemed to feel safe enough to allow it to roam freely around the room without an enclosure. Patton was kneeling next to a tank full of small snakes, not much thicker than a finger, with bright blue stripes. He had put his finger on the glass, and had a bright smile on his face as one of the snakes pressed it’s noses against the glass where his finger was. Roman was entranced by the decor of the room. Above the door frame was a mounted snake statue with a gold apple in its mouth. The statue seemed to be radiating heat. The room was moist and hot, and it was obviously meant for snakes. The heat felt uncomfortable to Roman, and he wanted to take his shirt off in an attempt to cool down. Virgil stood uncomfortable in the corner, not really wanting to be here, but he knew the other needed this.

Janus watched from the edge of the room, mainly making sure his snakes didn't get hurt. He noticed Logan approaching his tree python. "Be careful, she bites~" Deceit teased, figuring that would be enough to keep Logan away from his snake. He really didn’t want Logan to wide up hurting her.  
"If that were the case, you would not have the snake out of her enclosure." Logan said calmly, offering his arm towards the tree python. She slithered off her branch and wrapped herself around Logan’s arm to ensure she wouldn’t fall. She was quick to relax into his body heat.

Logan looked at the snake closely, seemingly admiring her emerald scales and eyes. Janus was about to say something, only for Patton to softly tug on his caplet. "Can I hold one too? Please? They're just too cute not to!" Patton pointed at the snakes he had been looking at. Janus sighed and gave in, nodding.  
"Just put them back when you're done,” he decided. Roman rolled his eyes, feeling as though Janus was just acting nice. He had to have some plan or reason to act this way. 

Patton gave a wide grin. "Of course!" He went back to the aquarium, gently picking up the small snakes. They wrapped around Patton's fingers and stuck their tongues out at him, licking him lightly, seemingly curious about him. Patton’s eyes glowed. "Oh gosh! They're adorable! Logan, can we keep them?" Patton asked, looking at the other. Logan rolled his eyes.  
"Patton, you are well aware that we can't. They’re Deceit's. Besides, I like this one better," Logan said, turning back to admire the snake on his arm.

Janus flushed lightly, flustered by seeing the others enjoying what he took pride in. "Well... I do have younger snakes that need a home anyways…" he mumbled under his breath, rubbing at the back of his neck.  
Patton's eyes sparkled. “Really?” He asked as he put the snakes back in the aquarium. “I would love to take care of one! They’re so cute! Can I see them?" He walked up to Janus and wrapped his arms around the other’s arm. Janus tensed and gave a confused nod.  
"If you would like..." Janus said, walking the two deeper into his room.

Roman looked over at Virgil. He was on his phone, texting someone. Virgil seemed tense. Roman could tell something was up, but he didn't want to rush Virgil into telling him. But he couldn't help but worry about Virgil. He’d been more jumpy and stressed than normal since arriving at the Dark Palace. Roman walked closer, wanting to speak to him. He couldn't help glancing at Virgil's phone, reading a brief text exchange between Virgil and someone with the name "L S". Roman had always been a curious person.

The first text was from Virgil, who had written, ‘I just don't know how to tell them. It hurts me to even think about it. How am I supposed to explain all this to them?’ L S had responded, ‘ its not supposed to be easy at first. you remember the first time we found out? it wont be easy for anyone but with time things will get better. besides, theyre in good hands, v’.  
Roman quickly looked away from the phone as Virgil started to put it away, not wanting to be caught. He gave Virgil a hesitant smile, taking a few more steps towards him. “Hey Virge… are you doing okay? You seem stressed.” He backtracked. “I know you wanted to talk to us later about something, so it’s okay if you want to wait.” Roman didn’t want to stress Virgil out anymore than he already was by trying to pressure him into talking about something he wasn’t ready about. But from just reading the texts, whatever it was sounded fairly urgent. Virgil shook his head slightly.

“Yeah… I don’t think this is something that can wait. It’s-It’s kinda important… If anything, I’m kinda glad you all wanted to come here. It makes things a little easier… But I'm still, y’know… anxious…” Virgil admitted. He turned his phone over in his hands nervously.  
Roman gave Virgil a reassuring smile. "Hey, I'm sure whatever it is, you have a reason to be, but me and the others are here for you. We're always going to be here for you… even if whatever you want us to know is upsetting to us, we're going to be here…” His tone was soft in an attempt to soothe the anxious side. Virgil looked as if he was about to tear up at the thought of Roman and the others abandoning him when Roman first brought it up, but Roman’s reassurances seemed to have calmed him slightly.

Virgil didn’t look up, still watching his phone as he turned it in his hands. "You… You promise right? No matter what? It's not… It’s not something that'll be amazing to hear… If anything, I'm scared you guys would hate me for it..."  
Roman nodded. "Of course! I promise, Virgil, we all trust you!” Roman hesitated for a moment. “Would you like a hug?" He asked. He knew at times Virgil needed a hug, though he was always too anxious to ask for one. He didn't hesitate on leaning into Roman’s open arms, sighing.  
"Y… Yeah... Thanks Roman…" Virgil mumbled as Roman wrapped his arms around Virgi,l rubbing his back in soothing circles.

"No problem, Hot Topic.” The name didn’t hold the malice it used to. Instead, it felt just as comforting as the hug Virgil was currently partaking in, or an inside joke. “You seemed to need one. Just try and relax a bit; breathe," Roman said.  
Janus had led Patton and Logan deeper into his room, opening a door into a hidden room with Tupperware full of snake eggs. Small heating lamps lit the room. A small aquarium was on a desk, three snakes inside. They had two different types of blue and red lines down their bodies. They’re eyes hadn’t even opened, making it obvious that they were both babies that hatched not too long ago.

Patton’s eye sparkled. "Oh my goodness! They’re so small!" His voice was softer than normal, in an attempt to keep from scaring the small snakes. Logan hummed, looking at the snakes as they slithered over each other.  
"They’re garter snakes, aren’t they? They must be, considering you put three in one tank.” Janus was surprised by Logan’s deduction, but nodded, smiling.

"Yes. They’re California Red Sided Garter snakes... Many of the Others want any right now." Patton grinned widely at the information, looking back and forth between Janus and Logan. Logan sighed, acting annoyed, though he really didn’t need much convincing.  
"I suppose… if Janus is alright with it, and you're willing to help me take care of them, I suppose we can keep them," Logan said. Patton nodded excitedly.

"Of course I'll take good care of them!" He looked expectantly at Janus.  
Janus couldn't help but feel nervous. While Logan may know a lot about snakes, that didn’t mean he would be good at taking care of them. They were still young, and he still didn’t really know if he could trust Logan and Patton-  
"Janus.” His thoughts were interrupted by Logan’s voice. “These snakes are still very young for someone with little experience with snakes to be taking care of them… Would you be willing to teach us how to properly care for them for a little while until they grow to an age where we feel comfortable caring for them?" Logan asked. Just the question relaxed janus. This showed that Logan had his snakes best interests in mind. He nodded.

“That wouldn’t be alright with me.”  
"Thank you so much! We appreciate it!" Patton exclaimed, eyes shining. Janus smiled faintly, enjoying seeing the others happy.  
Logan, relieved at having seen a good side to Janus, fell into thought. “Janus, would you, by chance, know why Virgil has been acting off recently. We would like to know. We’re concerned about him.” Janus raised a brow, the soft smile gone the instant the question was asked.

"And why should I tell you? It is my job. Besides, I was actually asked specifically not to lie this time.” He smirked. “I am supposed to say a thing." Deceit admitted to Logan. The words got under the other side’s skin, and he tried his best to keep his composure.  
"Even so… could you please at least give us a hint?" Janus thought for a moment, before finally settling on an answer. 

"... You’re asking the wrong questions. Instead of learning about the Dark Palace, try learning about the Dark Sides.”  
Logan hummed, taking a mental note of the answer. "And... how would we start doing that?" the words janus spoke had much more meaning to him than the two sides he was speaking too. 

“Sneak a peek at Virgil’s back.”  
Logan couldn't help but wonder what would even be on Virgil's back. Perhaps a birth mark of some kind? But what would that have to do with the Dark Sides, or even Virgil. Nonetheless, it was useful information.  
"Thank you, Janus, for that information." Logan said. Janus rolled his eyes. 

"You're not welcome… Now, how long will you be in my room?" He asked. Patton shrugged.  
"I guess we’ve looked at everything… who's room would be next?" Patton looked to Logan for an answer. Logan sighed, adjusting his glasses.  
"If it is who I think it is, Roman certainly won't be happy, and we'll have to deal with a messy room…” He glanced over to Patton, faint worry in his eyes. “Will you be alright, Patton? I know how nervous you are about Remus and I know you’re willing to let Thomas have him around... but are you going to be able to handle being around him?” Patton looked down at Logan’s question, biting the inside of his cheek. He nodded softly.

"Yeah… I think I'll be okay… Actually, after what you said about him, I kinda want to apologize for how I treated him. I mean, he may be… odd… but he’s still a part of Thomas! It was wrong of me to just push him away like I did."  
Logan nodded with a small hum. "That's a good idea, Patton." He looked over at Janus and nodded in appreciation. "Thank you for letting us in and speaking with us, Janus.”

"Yes, well... You should be thankful because I was very busy-" Janus began, before being cut off by Patton. The bubbly side practically tackled the other into a hug with a wide smile.  
"Thanks for the snakes too!" Patton said excitedly. He pulled away from the hug, seeing Janus’ confused face. He didn’t often get affection, but he was finding he didn’t hate it. He offered a small smile to Patton.  
“You’re not welcome.” Patton grinned wider at Deceit’s response.  
“We should get going now. Goodbye Janus,” Logan said, leading Patton back to the main part of Janus’ room, meeting up with Roman and Virgil.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> if anyone wants to help with the fanfiction in anyway when it comes to making the podfic feel free to message me on discord which is neondemon69#4240


	4. Scar Of Knowledge

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Janus told Patton and Logan to look at Virgil's back, but they didn't realize what they would find until it was too late.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ok so this fanfiction means a lot to me i started this fanfiction when I was young and living with a abusive parents and then i lived in a motel and now i live with my brother to get back on track  
> so this fanfiction has been with me through thick and then I've been trying to make it into a podfic with voice actors, artist, ect just low on people willing to help
> 
> i also feel like it's important to say HeadphonesChild helped me edit they're a huge help and i hope you check out their work it would be a understatement to say they're art style is more than worth looking at and I'm so very thankful for them helping me edit it always makes my day to read their edits

Logan, Patton, and Roman followed Virgil out of the room, leaving Janus in his thoughts. He closed the door quietly behind the four other sides.

Logan and Patton were silently brainstorming, trying to figure out a way to see Virgil’s back. It was obviously something Virgil was trying to hide, so just asking to see Virgil’s back wouldn’t work, especially since Virgil hated showing any skin, and even just seeing without his jacket was a rarity. The jacket was a comfort item, and the last thing the others wanted to do was cause him extra anxiety piled onto everything else that was going on today. They could always make up a lie to try and see Virgil’s back, but on the off chance that Janus was up to something, Logan and Patton didn’t want to fall into his trap and put the others in danger.

IloveyouLogan and Patton whispered back and forth to each other, Virgil and Roman ahead of them. However, it wasn’t long until Roman picked up on their voices, and grew curious. He slowed down, falling into step beside Logan, leaving Virgil alonge in leading the pack. Virgil looked back, confused, but didn’t say anything. Once Virgil turned forward again, Roman leaned over and whispered to the pair.

“What’s going on? Sounds like you two are hiding something from me and Twenty One Panic Attacks over there,” Roman hummed, nodding towards Virgil. Patton tensed, unsure of how to answer. He looked to logan for help, who answered swiftly.

“Virgil’s seemed rather stressed as of later. We were worried about him, so we asked Janus if he knew anything. He advised us to look at Virgil’s back to find the answer to our question. However, we are unsure how to go about it. Asking to see his back would be suspicious, and we do not want to make Virgil uncomfortable. And if Janus is planning something, we do not want to play into his hands, so we cannot lie.”

Roman’s eyes glinted as he smirked. He may not trust Janus, but he couldn’t say he wasn’t curious. “Allow me.” He quickened his pace to walk in front of Virgil. Virgil raised a brow and tilted his head slightly.

“What is it, Princey?” Virgil asked. Patton and Logan watched curiously from behind the pair.

“You’ve been so stressed out the whole time we’ve been here!” Roman said, smiling sweetly. “And you seem to be comfortable with physical touch today so…” Roman trailed off. Virgil’s face turned bright red, unsure of what Roman was implying. He looked between Roman and the pair behind himself, Logan and Patton looking equally confused.

“W-Wait, where is this going?” Virgil asked. Roman furrowed his brow in confusion.

“I was just wondering if you’d like a back massage.’ Realization struck him, and Roman flushed lightly. “I wasn’t offering anything inappropriate! I’m not my brother, after all!” He laughed awkwardly. Virgil couldn’t help but sigh in relief.

This only served to make Roman self conscious about himself . “W-wait! What’s that supposed to mean?!” He placed his hand on his chest in the way he often did when he was offended by something someone said. “Am I that undesirable that you would never want to do those things with me!?”

Virgil rolled his eyes at how dramatic Roman can get, and how personal everything feels to him. Virgil blushed deeper at the question, shaking his head. “N-No! I never said that!” Logan raised a brow at Virgil’s hasty answer. “I-I mean-” Virgil sighed, attempting to cool his burning face by sheer force of will alone. “I’m ok with a back massage, I guess...” He turned around to hide his blushing face, and took off his jacket awkwardly.

“R-Right! Sorry...” Roman face was equally red. Patton looked scandalized, but Logan only looked bored at what he considered a silly and useless argument.

Roman reached out hesitantly, before beginning to softly massage Virgil’s back. Virgil leaned very slightly, almost unnoticeably, into the touch. He was very touch starved, and the others knew this. They would try to help him, but it was hard, seeing how Virgil could be with physical touch at times. Some days, he’d be perfectly fine, even seeking out touch, while others, someone getting within five feet of him was enough to set off a panic attack. Because of this, when Roman felt Virgil lean into his touch ever so slightly, it made him smile widely. He was glad today was a good day. The wide smile fell into a more guilty one. He hoped he didn’t ruin Virgil’s good day with what he was about to do. He continued to massage Virgil, carefully lifting the back of the other’s shirt. Virgil tensed at this, but Roman didn’t stop. He continued, lifting the hem of the shirt to Virgil’s neck. Virgil was parlyzed in his anxiety, and no matter how much he wanted to pull away from Roman, pull his shirt down, turn away… He couldn’t move. Roman, having begun to panic at seeing the edge of what was on Virgil’s back, quickly pulled his shirt off the rest of the way to get a better look. Patton let out a worried squeak from behind him, but Roman didn’t look back. His eyes were locked on the scars on the other side’s back. Two, large words, looking like they were carved into his skin.

Anxiety 

Censorship

“Who did this?!” Roman asked, his voice raised. He took a shaky breath. He knew yelling at Virgil wouldn’t yield any results, but he couldn’t help it. He was enraged. He couldn’t believe that someone would hurt Virgil, and he wanted to do whatever it took to get revenge for him. Logan approached slowly, reaching his hand out to run his fingers over the scar. Virgil jumped, wanting to pull away, but he couldn’t force himself to move.

“N-No one did anything!” Virgil stammered. Logan shook his head slightly. “It's far too neat to have been cut by yourself… There’s no way you could have reached your arms at this point in your back.”

“It’s complicated...” Virgil explained, teeth gritted. He really did not want Logan touching him right now. Roman had turned his want for touch sour. He fought the urge to growl at them.

Patton noticed how the mood seemed to shift in the air, how Virgil’s muscles had tensed. He quickly tried to calm all of them down. 

“H-Hey! Calm down! Guys, I'm sure Virgil has a good reason for having them,” Patton said, gently grabbing Logan’s elbow and pulling his hand away from Virgil. The other relaxed slightly once the hand was gone, and was quick to grab his shirt from where Roman had dropped it on the floor. He there it on, along with his jacket, unable to put enough layers between him and the rest of the world.

“Well, there had better be a good explanation for this! And so help me, God, I will find whoever did this to you and I’ll… Well, I-I don’t know what I’ll do, but I'll do it!” Roman clenched his fists, glaring at Virgil. He wasn’t angry at him, far from it. He was angry at whoever would dare hurt him.

“Relax, kiddo,” Patton said, placing a reassuring hand on Roman’s back. “I know you want to help. We all do. But in order to do that, we need to hear Virgil’s side of the story.” They all looked towards Virgil, causing him to freeze up all over again.

“That’s… I told you, it’s a really long, complicated story...” Virgil bit back a nervous laugh as he rubbed his upper arm.

“Naturally so. We don’t mind… Perhaps there is somewhere in the Dark Palace that you find comforting? That way we can speak in a more comfortable setting.” Logan explained, looking around at the hallway they stood in. The walls were dirty, covered in various substances, and the wallpaper was peeling. It wasn't the best place to have a serious conversation, in Logan’s opinion, especially when the topic was one that so clearly stressed Virgil out.

Virgil sighed, thinking. "I... know one place, I guess, but it will take us a minute to get there."

“As long as you tell us the truth about who gave you those scars, I don't care how long it takes. I will avenge you!" Roman reached for the hilt of his sword, only to be stopped by Virgil’s voice.

"You don't need to do that…" Virgil said, continuing to walk. The others followed behind him, Roman keeping a hand on his sword; he didn’t trust this situation one bit.

Virgil led them into an antique looking room. It was a lot cleaner than the rest of the Dark Palace, with cozy chairs filled wall to wall bookshelves. Logan looked around in interest before sitting with the others.

“What cozy little library..." he mumbled. Virgil gave a weak smile and nodded.

"Yeah. This isn't the main library, the other one is bigger..." Virgil admitted. Logan perked up slightly, making Roman lash out.

"Quit stalling!" Roman growled. He couldn’t help it. He was scared that something horrible had happened. Maybe it was still happening. His stress was only raised by the state the Dark Palace was in. It was a mess. It reminded him so much of his brother, and it was a nightmare for him. 

He just wanted to know what happened. He would break down the Dark Palace for Virgil’s safety.

Virgil nervously laughed "... Um, well… They kinda just... appeared," Virgil murmured, rubbing his upper arm. Patton and Roman glanced at each other, confused. They couldn't tell if Virgil was lying or not. Logan, however, was just as unreadable as ever, and the familiarity calmed Virgil a little. Logan hummed softly.

“Do you think you could please explain more thoroughly why you have those?" Logan asked. From Patton, he had been able to learn how to soften his words a little when asking questions. At times like this, he was almost better at dealing with situations because he didn’t allow emotions to muddle his thoughts or crowd his questions the way Patton and Roman did. Only a few months ago, though, he wouldn’t have had the capabilities to deal with this.

Virgil nodded softly. "Dark Sides… Don't become Dark Sides knowing what they represent, or what they’re purpose is. It-It kinda takes time… And at a certain moment in time, when we do something that represents… Well… What we represent… a scar appears. When-When that happens, it’s telling you what you are… " Virgil explained.

Logan looked surprised and binked, putting his hand under his chin. He stared past Virgil’s head, thinking, while Roman looked puzzled. 

“But... But that doesn't make sense! You have two! What about that other one? There's no way you can represent two things!" Roman burst out. Virgil looked down, face turning red in embarrassment. 

"Oh... Yeah... That one…" Virgil mumbled. "Yeah, Dark Sides can represent more than one thing, and… I'm… not proud of what my second scar is… A-And I'm trying to improve myself so I'm not seen as that! At least, I'm trying not to be that way anymore…” he admitted.

"Awww! Virgil, it's okay! No one is perfect, kiddo!" Patton said cheerily, the fatherly and loving side of him showing through. He was still a little concerned, and more than a bit confused, but didn't like seeing Virgil this upset. 

Roman sighed softly, looking down. "I… I suppose that makes sense, but… you lied to us.” Virgil’s eyes widened. What had he lied about? Sure, he had hidden the scars, but if any of them had seen them and asked, he would have told them! Probably… And even now, when they did find them, he told them immediately. Virgil opened his mouth to ask, to protest, when Roman looked up. “And I don’t mean just about the scars and what you represent… You said you weren't a Dark Side any more. What changed? Wait… Please don't tell me you're still working for them!" Roman’s voice held clear panic. Virgil’s eyes widened and he shook his head quickly.

"N-No! I wasn't… I wasn’t trying to lie! I was going to become one of you but…. I found out… I can't exactly do that.. Well, I mean… If I did, it would mean I wouldn't actually be with you guys… It involves the news I want to tell you all…" Virgil’s voice trailed off. Roman relaxed slightly into his chair. 

"I… I suppose that I… I understand in some way… But I still don't understand everything…. Why is this news so hard for you?" Roman asked. Virgil looked down nervously at the question, beginning to rub his arm again.

"That's… Well…" Virgil choked on his words. He felt his hands shaking. His vision danced with grey spots. He gripped at his jacket in an attempt to ground himself.

Noticing Virgil’s condition, Logan sat up in his chair, vanishing the notebook he had been writing in. He had been taking notes on everything Virgil had talked about. He had a few theories, but one stuck out to him. Still, he didn't want to jump to that conclusion, not yet.

"Virgil…” he started. “It seems as though even the thought of telling us this news is making you feel sick… Perhaps you should eat something, something that is of your proper diet. Getting something to drink would not be a bad idea either. You're clearly not well enough to speak of such a topic."

Roman was upset at hearing that, when he looked back at Virgil, he noticed how pale he looked. Even more so than usually. His skin tone seemed to lighten by the second. Patton was quick to nod.

"Oh goodness, you’re right, Logan! Virgil doesn't look like he's doing so well… Roman, maybe you could help me make him some food for Virgil to eat?" Patton asked. Roman nodded, beginning to stand.

"Of course. I'll get him some water," Roman said, straightening his posture in an attempt to look less worried than he felt. Virgil sighed, feeling guilty. 

"Come on, guys. I'm fine. You don't… You don’t need to take care of me..." Virgil said, trying to convince them he was okay. His voice was breathless and weak. Logan shook his head softly, grabbing Virgil's hand and lifting it so it was in the other’s field of view.

"You're shaking, Virgil. Your hands are cold, and you appear to be dizzy. Please do not fight us on this, we are trying to help you. I know how uncomfortable it is for you to accept help, but it's clear you need it. It’s obvious you haven't been eating properly. Let’s at least get you something to eat before you tell your news." Logan kept his voice as calm and even as possible, trying to not provoke any kind of panic.

Virgil looked at his hand. It was hard to tell with the dark spots in his eyes, but it was still shaking. He groaned. "Y’know, L… Sometimes I hate it when you're right…” Virgil grumbled. “Alright, fine…” The others smiled in relief, Patton and Roman standing up.

"We'll be back!" Patton said. Roman and Patton left the room, leaving Virgil and Logan alone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> if anyone wants to help with the fanfiction in anyway when it comes to making the podfic feel free to message me on discord which is neondemon69#4240


	5. The Run In

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Roman and Patton go to the Dark Palace kitchen to get Virgil some food, only to run into a new Side. One that's more than a bit alarming to Roman.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ok so this fanfiction means a lot to me i started this fanfiction when I was young and living with a abusive parents and then i lived in a motel and now i live with my brother to get back on track  
> so this fanfiction has been with me through thick and then I've been trying to make it into a podfic with voice actors, artist, ect just low on people willing to help
> 
> i also feel like it's important to say HeadphonesChild helped me edit they're a huge help and i hope you check out their work it would be a understatement to say they're art style is more than worth looking at and I'm so very thankful for them helping me edit it always makes my day to read their edits

Logan and Virgil sat in chairs near each other in silence. The room was calm, quiet. Despite that, Virgil was tense. His body shaking, his knees curled up to his chest. He couldn't relax. His heart was pounding, and he was panicking at the thought of telling the others the truth. Logan sat up a bit, looking over at Virgil. He wouldn’t meet his eye.

“Virgil… If I may, why is this news bothering you so intensely? Is there something specific you're avoiding?" Logan asked. He could deal with this. Battle emotions with logic… That was something he could do.

Virgil sighed shakily, rubbing his upper arm. "It's... It’s a lot of things… I-I don't like the thought of you all panicking, and I know that’s what’s gonna happen. On top of that, I don't-I don’t even know how I would even start explaining it to you guys. I’ve... never been the one to teach things, and I’m bad with words...and it'll be a big thing to learn and so much will change-" Virgil tried to explain, but his throat was closing up in anxiety. His breaths weren’t coming out as smoothly as before, and his shaking worsened. “It’s… It’s a nightmare to me…” Logan hummed, hands crossed in his lap as he listened to Virgil.

"I see why this would upset you, but Virgil, you have nothing to worry about.” Logan assured. “Yes, it’s true that we may panic about whatever this news is, but we’ll calm down in time, even if it is as horrible as you seem to think it is. We will move on and grow with whatever changes come our way. You, me, and the others will grow used to it. You’re our friend. There is no need to worry.”

Virgil gave a shaky nod in response. "I-I… I guess, but how on Earth do I tell you guys? I’ll probably be awful at explaining it to you guys, and… I can never find the right thing to say." He gripped his jacket’s sleeve nervously. He couldn’t help but think that, because it was him explaining this, he would end up hated. He wasn’t a good teacher like Logan. Words didn’t come easily to him like they did with Roman. He wasn’t even just naturally a likable person like Patton. If it was any of them, this secret would be no issue. It’s because it was him, and he had nothing to offer.

Logan offered a reassuring smile. "If that's such a big source of worry for you, you could’ve simply asked me. I do my best to teach everyone new things, and I find it enjoyable to teach my friends something that I know. I would not be upset with helping you teach others. I would, essentially, be teaching you how to teach in this case.” Virgil finally looked up at that offer, finding relief in Logan’s words.  
“O… Okay…”

"What are you struggling with?" Logan asked, keeping his voice soft and even. He didn’t want to spike Virgil’s anxiety again at the thought of telling everyone his news. Virgil struggled to speak initially, but fought the urge he felt to shut down.

"What I’m telling you guys…” He struggled to get the words out. “I don't even know where to start from… And there are parts of it that are just-just… Painful to speak about… Cause I know it's not seen as pretty, and for good reason… " Virgil muttered.

Logan thought for a moment. "Well, I would suggest you start off with the basics. A headline, if you will. Then, work into the details, starting from the beginning. Yes, you may cause panic, but that's ok. You’re giving us a tool, information that we would need in order to continue with caution, and that is very much needed, and far more important than our panic. Just remind Patton and Romsan that panic is not the best course of action. Even remind me if you feel it is necessary,” he responded calmly.

Virgil nodded, offering a weak smile. "Yeah… Thank you, L… I-I… I honestly do feel a little better about this now, and… even though I still… I still don't know what I'm doing, I'll take that advice."

Logan smiled at him, adjusting his glasses. "I’m glad. If you ever feel that you need help again, just ask me. I do wish the best for you and the others, even if I’m not the best at showing it.” His smile shifted into a vaguely embarrassed one. Virgil shook his head.

"No, no... You're… You’re actually better than me sometimes… Heck, you even gave Patton a present, and you’ve certainly helped me calm down on more than one occasion." Virgil admitted. 

Logan thought for a moment. "Oh. I thought those would have been seen as taking responsibility. It certainly wouldn't be right if I didn't help you with your panic attacks and mental hardships. As for Patton, he was going through a lot, and I didn't feel comfortable with him wearing that cat onesie. Especially not in the state he was in. So I decided to find a more comfortable and reasonable garment to wear,” he explained, brushing it off.

Virgil shook his head again. "Logan, you understand what we're going through and it's… it’s honestly pretty cool how much you help out..." Logan couldn't help but smile a bit.  
"Oh… Well, you’re welcome... It's the least I could do."

Downstairs, Patton and Roman explored the kitchen, looking for something for Virgil to eat. Roman opened the fridge, gagged at the smell, and closed it just as quickly. “Oh goodness… Are we sure this is what he’s meant to eat?" Roman asked. Patton just sighed.  
"That’s what he says his proper diet is, kiddo… We have to trust him.” Roman groaned at the answer.

"Well, can't we at least get him some fresh meat or something?" Roman asked. A loud voice from behind him answered rather than Patton, causing Roman to jump and grip his sword hilt.

"Would you two just move it?" The side shouted. Roman spun on his heel, pulling his sword half way out in case he needed to fight. He was shocked at the sight of a taller side, just tall enough to catch him off guard. He had greasy, messy hair and he wore a dirty, orange shirt. He had an irritated expression on his face, as is Roman’s mere existence was an inconvenience to him.

Patton grabbed Roman's, forcing him to stumble back a few steps. He glared at him, motioning for him to put the sword away, before smiling cheerily to the taller side. "Sorry kiddo! We didn't mean to be in your way! See, we have a friend that's a Dark Side, and we’re trying to find food for him, but we don’t know that much about your guys’ diets,” Patton rambled. The taller side blinked in confusion, before the irritated look fell on his face again.

“Oh… for fuck sakes…” he forced himself between Roman and Patton to reach the fridge. Roman was so close to the orange side that he could smell his breath, and it almost made him gag. It threw him off, smelt like energys drinks and… is that gasoline? the taller side tossed a package of three steaks to Roman. He fumbled with the package for a moment. “Here. Feed him that. He’ll be able to eat it raw.” Roman looked down at the package of steaks for a moment before blinking up at the taller side. He had already migrated to the cabinets on the other side of the kitchen. He pulled down an energy drink, which Roman did not think he needed.

Patton smiled at the taller. “Oh! Uh, thank you, Mr…?” He trailed off. He was hoping that maybe he could learn what this side represented, or maybe even his name. Roman didn’t care much. He didn’t like this guy. He didn’t want to make the same mistake he had with Virgil, but he didn’t trust this new side. He was messy and cranky, and Roman didn’t like the way he shoved him and Patton around.

The side popped the top of his drink, making it hiss. “Just call me Rage.” Patton continued to smile kindly, but his fingers twitched. He wasn’t sure how he felt about the fact that there was an entire meant to make Thomas angry. But he didn’t know enough about the Dark Sides, so he kept quiet. Roman raised an eyebrow. 

“Oh…” Roman muttered quietly. He had always assumed that Logan, or even he, was Thomas’ rage, but he supposed it explained a lot. There were some days that Thomas had just everything go wrong, and he would start screaming or breaking things. It was a rare sight, but it did happen. "Right. Well, I'm-" Roman began, but Rage put his hand up.

"Yeah yeah. I already know who you are. That emo dork talks about you all the time. I assume he’s already told you the news?" He sounded irritated, but the others were unable to determine if that was normal or not.  
"Uh… No, not yet. He's been having a hard time telling us, which is why we're here! We wanted to get him something to eat beforehand to make sure he got the nutrients he needs,… " Patton admitted. Rage took a swig of his drink.

"Yeah, he just needs time. Don't rush him. I know I would get pretty fucking pissed off if someone kept pushing me for that horrifying news. I'd punch a fucking wall!" His voice raised steadily as he spoke until he was shouting at the end of his sentence. He clenched his fists, crushing the energy drink can in his hand, causing the drink to explode around the kitchen.

He was getting mad just thinking about someone forcing that news out of him. He swung his fists aimlessly, only stopping when he finally hit something. Roman and Patton backed away slowly from the taller side, Roman dropping the package of steak on the ground in his surrey to get away from Rage.  
Rage was breathing heavily, his fists still closed tightly. He saw the pair moving out of the corner of his eye, and he looked up. He furrowed his brow, becoming confused. "What's with that look?" he asked. Patton shakily pointed at the new side's hand, causing him to look down at it. He had several, large shards of glass shoved deep into his hand. He looked to the nearby table. The coffee pot that had been resting on it was shattered. 

Rage growled, glaring at his fist. "Oh… Fuck… Goddamnit! I can't even go into the kitchen without destroying something!” He dropped the crushed can in his right hand, and began pulling the shards of glass from his left. This only made him bleed worse, causing Roman to look at his hand with concern. Rage just sighed, annoyed. He could tell if it was with the Light Sides, the coffee pot, or himself. “eh… it'll be fine,” he said half-heartedly. Once all of the larger pieces of glass were out of his hand, Rage let his arm hang by his side. His hand dripped blood, leaving a shallow pool of red on the kitchen floor. Suddenly, it was apparent where all the other similarly dark-coloured stains on the floor had come from. 

Patton was trying not to look at the gory nightmare in front of him, preferring to focus on anything else. Roman fumbled with his words in shock. He’d gotten bad injuries before. With his adventures, he almost made a habit of it, and he never made a big deal of it when it happened. But he knew this was far worse than any injury he had ever gotten in the Imagination.

"Wh-What? I can see your bones! You can't tell me you’re gonna just treat that wound like you would a cat scratch!?" Rage just shrugged.

"It's just a flesh wound, it's fin-" he stopped mid sentence, the blood loss starting to catch up with him. He turned pale, and swayed on his feet. "ok you know what! - I… I'll see you guys later!… " Rage slurred slightly, having difficulty speaking. He turned, swaying as he walked down the hall, going to look for help.

Patton looked to Roman, concern written on his face. "Do you think he'll be ok?" He asked. Roman just shrugged.

"Probably… And if I ever get wounded like that, and say that I'm fine, you have full permission to hit me over the head!" Roman glared slightly at his own fists, hoping he never made Patton worry like that. Patton chewed the inside of his cheek, anxious at the thought. Before he could say anything to Roman, he noticed how the other was looking down. He could sense his mood shift in the air. He suddenly seemed much more sad, almost guilty. Patton placed a reassuring hand on his shoulder. 

"Is… Everything okay, Roman? You seem upset...” Roman sighed, and looked up, offering Patton a weak smile.  
"Yeah, Padre, I’m fine… It's just… I wanted to come here and-and meet newer sides. I wanted to… To try my best not to treat them the way I treated Virgil. I wanted… I want to learn! But… As soon as I saw a new side, I… lost all that… I honestly thought he was going to hurt us, Patton! But… He helped us..." Roman’s voice was full of shame, despite his attempt to hide it.

Patton quickly shook his head. "It’s alright to be scared, kiddo. We don’t know anyone here, and that was… pretty nerve racking.” Patton gave a reassuring smile. “You’re acting the same way Virgil did when he first came to us.” Patton’s smile dropped, and his eyes filled with guilt. “I feel the same way. I don’t… I don’t know anyone here, and I don’t know what I’m doing. I may have put Virgil’s health at risk, because I fed him the wrong things. But… But I can’t blame myself for everything, and you can’t either.” Patton pulled Roman into a side hug. “Just do what you can, kiddo, that’s all you can do. That’s what I’m doing.”

Roman nodded, leaning into the hug slightly. "I… I suppose… I guess that makes sense… You also… You’re doing a better job at staying calm… I know my brother, and... Deceit is more than you want to handle, but… But I think you’re doing a great job dealing with it all… " Roman said, hoping to calm Patton's worries. Patton just gave him a soft smile.

"I'm alright, because you and the others are here with me... And honestly, I'm really thankful to have you by my side. You've always been so kind towards me. Even when you and the others are busy, you've always found time for me, and… And that really does mean a lot to me..." Patton admitted. Roman was taken back by this. He didn’t expect Patton to take the time they spent to heart, but Roman couldn't help but pull Patton into a full hug.

“Of course! The time we spend together means a lot to me too, Pat, so I try my best to spend as much time with you as I can, even if it's just a few minutes. I never thought it would mean so much to you, but... I'm really glad it does. I know sometimes I have a... Hard time getting along with the others, but seeing you smile really makes my day.” Patton grabbed the front of Roman’s shirt, his heart warming as he heard Roman’s words. He relaxed a bit.

"I'm… I’m really glad that's how you feel… I hate to admit it, but after a while... I-I thought I was just annoying you, or you were mad at me… But it makes me happy to know that you enjoy spending time with me just as much as I enjoy spending time with you." Patton said. Roman rubbed small, comforting circles on Patton's back.

“Of course. We’re family.” Patton pulled away from the hug with a teary smile. He wiped at his eyes, sniffling softly. Roman smiled back, before looking to the package of steak that had been dropped on the floor. "I hate to say it, but we should get back to the others… But I promise, Pat, after whatever Virgil's plans are, we'll spend more time together." Roman assured. Patton nodded, picking up the steak.  
"Let's go then.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ok so this fanfiction means a lot to me i started this fanfiction when I was young and living with a abusive parents and then i lived in a motel and now i live with my brother to get back on track  
> so this fanfiction has been with me through thick and then I've been trying to make it into a podfic with voice actors, artist, ect just low on people willing to help
> 
> i also feel like it's important to say HeadphonesChild helped me edit they're a huge help and i hope you check out their work it would be a understatement to say they're art style is more than worth looking at and I'm so very thankful for them helping me edit it always makes my day to read their edits


	6. The Big News

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Virgil finally gets the nerves to admit to the others why he brought them to the Dark Palace.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ok so this fanfiction means a lot to me i started this fanfiction when I was young and living with a abusive parents and then i lived in a motel and now i live with my brother to get back on track  
> so this fanfiction has been with me through thick and then I've been trying to make it into a podfic with voice actors, artist, ect just low on people willing to help
> 
> i also feel like it's important to say HeadphonesChild helped me edit they're a huge help and i hope you check out their work it would be a understatement to say they're art style is more than worth looking at and I'm so very thankful for them helping me edit it always makes my day to read their edits

Roman opened the door to the small library, revealing Virgil and Logan sitting side by side. Logan had felt Virgil needed something to calm his mind, so he pulled up a YouTube video about Alice in Wonderland, one of their shared interests. The video obviously was helping Virgil relax, distracting him for the moment from the matter at hand. Patton and Roman sat across from the pair, but Virgil didn’t look up until Roman handed him the package of raw steaks. 

"Here you are, My Chemically Imbalanced Romance!” Roman teased, in an attempt to hide his worry. He hoped the steak was going to help Virgil, but he didn’t know what wasn’t going to happen. He still wasn’t sure if he trusted what Rage had told him and Patton. Virgil looked down at the package of meat, disgust flickering in his eyes. He didn’t particularly want to eat it.  
After eating Patton’s cooking, the raw steak tasted so bland. However, the growling of his stomach won out over his loathing. He tore the seran wrap off the package, and lifted one steak to his mouth. He took a small bite, then a bigger one, until he had buried his face into the package, eating the steak ravenously. When he had finished all the meat, he pulled his face up, covered in blood. Roman cringed slightly at the sight, but Logan simply nodded and Patton gave a wide smile at seeing how much Virgil’s condition had already improved. He pulled his cardigan off his shoulders, taking the sleeve and wiping the blood of Virgil’s face gently.

“See, kiddo? Was that so bad?” Virgil sighed, shaking his head slightly.  
“No, I… I guess not.” He gave a weak smile. “Thanks guys…” Logan tilted his head slightly. 

“Virgil, if I may ask,” Logan began, “Why did you avoid adhering to your proper diet? It is very unlike you to take such a topic lightly , especially if it’s risking your’s, and potentially Thomas’, health and wellbeing.” Virgil looked down in embarrassment. 

“I guess it kinda was… It’s just that the meat was always so bland and… and sometimes it tasted so different from the food I used to have as a-” He stuttered, stumbling over his words. “A-anyways, I got… I really like Patton’s food… I used to eat raw meat after his meals, but we’ve been spending a lot of time together and it… It kinda slipped my mind or I was too exhausted by the end of the night to get any…” Virgil looked at the floor, rubbing his upper arm. Roman couldn’t help looking up at Virgil as he stumbled over himself in the middle of his admission. Logan gave a curt nod.

“I see. Well, I hope you now understand that your health is far more important to us than anything. We wish you had told us so we could have at least offered you something after you ate Patton’s food.” Virgil grimaced slightly at Logan’s words, looking disappointed in himself. Patton jumped into the conversation in an attempt to cheer Virgil up.

"B-but it's still a good thing you told us when you did, so we could get you something to eat… Are you feeling any better?" Patton asked. Virgil nodded. 

"Yeah… I feel a hell of a lot better… My stomach felt like it was about to eat itself if I didn't eat any meat. I haven't eaten raw meat in… Well, longer than I can remember..." He admitted.  
Roman sighed. "Virgil, you should have just... asked.” He began. “I would have helped too… What kind of meat do you normally enjoy anyways? I doubt it all tastes the same to you.” Roman desperately wanted to help Virgil. Virgil fell silent for a moment, thinking, before hesitantly speaking. 

"Well, I… I used to eat a lot of raw bear meat..." Virgil mumbled, not looking up. Roman's eyes widened a bit. He certainly hadn’t been expecting that. He was assuming it was something like steak or pork. Roman quickly shook himself out of his surprise. 

"Oh… Well, then no matter! If fighting off a bear is what is required to stave off your hunger, then I won't hesitate!"  
Virgil sighed. Logan looked between Virgil and the others, sensing the anxious side's tenseness. “Virgil… Are you ready to speak about that news you needed to tell us about?" Logan asked, abruptly changing the subject in an attempt to ease Virgil’s anxiety. Roman and Patton looked over at Virgil. He nervously nodded.

"I... guess so… just… I’m trying to think…"  
Roman and Patton looked at each other, not quite sure what to do to help, but Logan nodded in understanding. "Virgil, like we were talking about before… why don't you try to impersonate me? I know you remember my teaching style, and it might make it easier to be more… blunt than you usually are..." Logan offered.

Virgil stared for a moment, thinking. "O… okay... I'll try..." He closed his eyes, focusing into the facts of his thoughts, thinking of what Logan would say in this situation. He took a deep breath, opened his eyes, and spoke. "Before I tell you the news, I would like to say… you weren't all right about the Others not being good. I...I left the Dark Palace for the Mind Palace because the Others and I, we… we didn't see eye to eye… we had different opinions. They believe their flaws are a good thing and I can’t get behind that idea. Then, I found out about you guys, and I knew I had to meet you… I mean, I’m a Dark Side meant to protect Thomas, to keep Thomas safe. I was supposed to join you guys and guide you and help you, especially today..." Virgil’s voice trailed off towards the end, his thoughts becoming a loud, jumbled, anxious mess.

Logan and the others looked at each other, attempting to process what they had just been told. Roman carefully approached Virgil, a soft frown on his face. "It's okay, Virgil… There’s nothing to be scared of. We're here to make things bette-" Virgil cut him off, anger clear on his features, But behind the anger, was a far more obvious fear. 

"I know Roman! I'm trying to be brave, but the truth is-!..." Virgil stopped himself from raising his voice any further. He took a shaky breath, speaking calmly, trying to clear his mind. "You’re… You’re all going to become one of them, and I'm supposed to help..." He quietly explained. Patton and Roman glanced between each other, nervousness clear on their faces, where Logan looked as calm as ever, not looking away from Virgil. After a moment of stunned, tense silence, Patton looked to Virgil, a determined expression showing.

“That’s… Well, that’s okay! I’m… I’m okay with that.” Patton looked around at the others for help. Roman cleared his throat, unsure of how to feel about this sudden turn of events. He had had so many negative experiences involving the Dark Sides that the idea of becoming one himself was hard for Roman to swallow. He fought them down, more focused on supporting Virgil.

"So... So am I,” Roman began unconvincingly, “...but I have to ask… why are we going to become Dark Sides?" He chose his words carefully, gauging Virgil’s reaction.  
Virgil hesitated, not knowing how to explain it without being harsh. "This is just… It’s Thomas' way of growing up…" He mumbled, trying to think of a better way to make them understand. He sighed softly. "I… I used to be like you guys… I used to be a… Logic…" Virgil looked down at his shoes anxiously. 

The others froze. Questions ran through each Sides head, each different and flowing. Patton was the first to break the stunned silence, a wide smile on his face. “Oh my goodness! I would have never thought you were like Logan, kiddo! What were you like when you were one?” He asked curiously. 

Roman, however, had too much going through his mind. He had so many questions he couldn’t vocalize just one. Namely, him and his brother… all of his life, Remus had been a Dark Side, but was that not true? What was going to happen to them if they turned into Dark Sides? Was he going to be replaced? Roman covered his mouth, trying to quell his thoughts and just focus on Virgil. Logan’s confusion rested much more on facts. What was going to happen? If there were past Light Sides, why did he remember so much of Thomas' childhood? What about all this work he and the others did for Thomas? Was it all going to be a waste?

Virgil looked up at Patton, surprised. The last thing he had been expecting was a positive reaction. He never thought any of the sides would be happy to hear any of this news, but he was going to try hard to keep that joy alive and help them. And, he would be lying if he said seeing Patton's smile didn’t help relax him a bit. He offered a soft, barely there smile. "I was… a bit like Logan, but… different. I didn't find any purpose in putting on anything like what Logan normally wears... I saw it as a waste of time. So, I would normally wear a white t-shirt and sweatpants… Instead of coffee, I drank a lot of tea. I, uh...I was told I was the first Logic to have emotions..." he admitted. 

Logan’s face shifted to one of mild shock as he tried to process the idea of Logic having emotions. The thought process feeling? No. And he himself couldn’t be the next one to be like that. “Back then, it was… uncomfortable to have feelings…” Virgil continued. “I normally avoided them or… or ignored them mainly because I didn’t know enough to understand them. O-Of course, now I’m different, I dunno if I could handle not having feelings, I think not having them would just… scare me to death…”

Logan raised a hand, as though he was in a class. Logan saw himself as a teacher, but that didn’t mean he didn’t like to learn,and this was a rare opportunity for him. He wanted to ask as many questions as he could, both ones Virgil was comfortable with answering and ones he knew he wasn’t, because he wanted to to push the other side as best he could in this situation.

Virgil couldn't help but feel weird about seeing Logan treat him this way. "Logan…?" Virgil asked cautiously, not knowing what to expect from the other.

"How does one become a Dark Side? It seems that it's something we can't get out of, but what causes it? And... what happens when a side becomes one?" Logan asked.

The hair on the back of Virgil's neck stood up straight as he bit his lip, holding back anxious tears. He knew he'd have to tell them eventually, but he didn’t think it would be so soon, and he was scared of what the others would think. He was certain they would hate him. Still, he fought his fear like the others expected him to. His throat went dry as he started to speak. "A… A Light Side … dies.. and wakes up as a Dark Side..." Virgil’s voice was shaky and quiet. The others froze up. Patton placed his hand over his heart, as if checking it was still beating, terrified at the idea. Roman back straightened, posture becoming defensive. Logan’s eyes widened as he adjusted his glasses. Virgil couldn’t help the few tears that escaped his eyes. Seeing his friends' scared expressions, confirming what he had feared most about telling them the truth, made him regret it. He knew this was a horrible idea, no matter what he did he knew it was going to hurt them he didn’t want to hurt them now they’re going to hate him oh god what was he thinking what was he thi-

Virgil suddenly felt hands on his shoulders. Fingers were gently rubbing at the knots in his neck. He hadn’t realised how tense he was. Virgil opened his eyes and turned his head slightly, seeing Patton massaging him. He slowly realized he was covering his ears. His breathing was heaving, he had probably been hyperventilating, and he was shaking from his panic. He uncovered his ears and noticed a gentle humming. He looked to his other side and saw Roman kneeling by his side, rubbing his back and humming softly. He saw Logan approaching him from his peripheral, and snapped his head forward towards the other side. Logan kneeled down, becoming level with Virgil to appear less menacing. 

"Virgil, it's alright. We're not mad at you," Logan assured. Virgil calmed slightly at the sound of Logan’s even voice.

"But..." Virgil protested weakly. Patton softly hushed him.  
"Kiddo, it's okay... just try to calm yourself..." Patton said. Virgil nodded shakikly, attempting his breathing exercises. His vision cleared, and he hadn’t realized how close he had been to passing out.

Logan gave a frown. "Virgil, I must apologize… I had a feeling that question would be something you would be scared to answer, but…but I thought you would be ready to tell us by now. I didn't realize I was pushing you to your limit. But it's done with now, and you have nothing more to be worried about," Logan said, attempting to be as comforting as possible. Virgil nodded, offering a weak smile. 

"It's… okay, L, I just… was expecting the worst. I… I'm sorry I'm not the… teacher you wanted..." Virgil managed between choked breaths. Logan shook his head. 

“That’s not a priority.”

Roman looked over at Virgil. He was still shaking. Roman wished he could do or say something more to comfort him. He thought for a moment, trying to come up with something that would help calm Virgil, but the other side moved away from Roman's touch to try and relax his body into his chair before Roman had a chance to come up with anything. His relaxation was short lived. A loud, crass voice sounded behind the chair, causing the anxious side to jump. 

“Oh calm down, Tickle-Me-Emo! It’s just a bit of death, what’s so wrong with that?” Roman had to physically hold back a growl at the voice. He stood and didn’t hesitate to pull out his sword as he faced Remus, practically draped over the back of the chair. “Congratulations, Virgil! You finally did, and earlier than I expected, too! You must really want them to know everything before they kick the bucket, huh?” Remus gave a mocking clap. Virgil simply sighed under his breath, but his anxiety didn’t seem heightened any. Logan raised a brow. 

“Hello Remus. How long have you been there?" Logan asked.

Remus grinned wildly. "Oh, funny you should ask, Calculator Watch, because I've been following you guys all day! I was considering kidnapping and ripping all your teeth out at one point, but I wanted to see where this would go." Logan simply crossed his arms, seemingly unphased. 

"Mhm… and is there any other reason why you’re here?" Logan asked, unconvinced.  
Remus nodded. "Oh, well, I am supposed to help teach you how to be Dark Sides." He seemed unreasonably excited. Virgil looked appalled. He quickly shot up out of the chair and turned to face Remus.

"Whoa whoa whoa! Hold up, buddy, when did anyone ever say that you were helping?" Virgil asked, crossing his arms and raising a brow. Roman nodded in agreement, despite having no clue what they were talking about. He just knew he didn’t want his brother involved.

"Oh, come now, Virgie! I've already done all the requirements for your job, so I may as well help! Besides, who said there wasn't anything I wanted to teach? And on top of that, did you really forget about the guide thing?" Remus asked, smirking. Logan opened his mouth to ask, but was stopped by Virgil turning bright red.

"NO! NO, YOU ARE NOT TALKING ABOUT THOSE THINGS AROUND THEM!" He yelled. The others redirected their attention from Remus to Virgil with clear confusion and concern on their faces.

"...What are you talking about, Virgil?" Patton asked with an innocent tone. Remus smirked, opening his mouth before Virgil covered it. 

"N-NOT-HING! Nothing! We'll... talk about it later! Uh...let me go talk to Remus...in private..." Virgil said. His tone got softer and softer throughout the sentence, embarrassed to have yelled at the others. Remus licked the palm of Virgil’s hand, making the anxious side look at him with disgust, and practically drag him out of the library while he was having a laughing fit. The remaining sides looked between each other, puzzled, all asking questions but none having any answers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> if anyone wants to help with the fanfiction in anyway when it comes to making the podfic feel free to message me on discord which is neondemon69#4240


	7. Listening Through the Door

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Virgil and Remus have a personal conversation. The others can't help but listen in.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ok so this fanfiction means a lot to me i started this fanfiction when I was young and living with a abusive parents and then i lived in a motel and now i live with my brother to get back on track  
> so this fanfiction has been with me through thick and then I've been trying to make it into a podfic with voice actors, artist, ect just low on people willing to help
> 
> i also feel like it's important to say HeadphonesChild helped me edit they're a huge help and i hope you check out their work it would be a understatement to say they're art style is more than worth looking at and I'm so very thankful for them helping me edit it always makes my day to read their edits

The others watched as Virgil pulled Remus into the hallway and shut the door behind him. Roman looked over at Patton and Logan.

"Are you guys… okay?" He asked, exhausted from the thought that they were going to have to die. He wished he knew more. The thought terrorized him; he just wanted to go home at this point and curl up in his canopy bed, but he had to make sure the others were ok. That was his first priority.

Patton nodded, holding back obvious tears. He offered Roman a watery smile. "Yeah, of course… I… I think." Patton didn’t want to cry. He didn’t want the others to worry, and he definitely didn’t want to upset Virgil. 

Logan gave a curt nod, trying not to let the inevitability of his death get to him. "I'm fine. A little confused, but otherwise, I am okay…” Logan turned to look to the Moral Side. “Patton, if you need to cry, you can. There is no shame in it… We just got news we may die, and we don’t know how long until it happens, so holding in any emotions would not be ideal for any of us." Logan said, knowing that having Patton hold in those tears would just bring himself and Thomas more pain than necessary. A tear ran down Patton's cheek. He looked down, embarrassed.

"... Are you sure?... I don't… I don’t want to be another problem..." Patton mumbled. 

Roman walked up to Patton and pulled him into a protective hug. Patton buried his face in Roman’s shirt, tears falling silently. “You are not, and will never be, a problem," Roman insisted.

Logan let out a soft sigh of relief, grateful that he had time to think, regardless if it wasn’t an ideal situation. Logan procured theory after theory about what exactly was going on, hypothesis after hypothesis for how each of them would die, speculation after speculation on what Dark Side each of them would become. But honestly, Logan wanted to take a break from thinking. Even he was exhausted from all this news. He leaned his back against the closed door of the library and let his eyes fall closed, only to peak them open when he realised he could hear Virgil and Remus through the wood.

"Virgil..." Remus mumbled, sounding exasperated.

"No no, please don't! I can't have you-!" Virgil’s voice was verging on shouting until Remus cut him off in a much softer tone.

“You’re doing it again…” Remus sounded upset, and that surprised Logan. It was almost out of character for Remus to seem so concerned for Virgil. Virgil seemed to choke on his words for a moment, before his tone shifted to a much softer one. 

“I-I… I’m so sorry, Remus… I’m just so stressed! I… I didn’t mean to censor again… I’m st-still trying to fix that…” His voice shook slightly, likely from stress and fear. Remus let out a soft sigh.

“Virgil, it's fine… What's upsetting you so much? Clearly there's something you don't want them to see..." Curiosity seeped into his voice along with his worry. Logan found himself leaning against the door on his side, ear pressed against the wood. Patton and Roman must have noticed what he was doing and caught on, because they were quick to follow his lead. Soon, all three of them were listening through the door to Remus’ and Virgil’s conversation. 

Virgil sighed. "I just… I don't want them to hate being Dark Sides… I don't want them to be scared of the stuff they're going to go through, and...I don't want them to know or… or experience what I did as a Light Side..." He mumbled. The three exchanged looks of confusion and concern until Remus began speaking.

“As much as I love scaring the living hell out of people, give me a little credit. I know this isn’t something to mess with. That’s why I want to help you instead of making things worse. I mean, even I’m disturbed by that story of what happened to you, so I’m not going to bring it up. But they will eventually find out, you know that.” Logan furrowed his brow. He felt guilty for listening in on such an obviously sensitive topic, but he found he couldn’t help himself. He needed to know more.

Virgil gave out a shaky sigh. "I know, I just… I’m not ready yet, okay?" His tone verged on defensive, but there was the unmistakable quiver Virgil’s voice got when he was about to cry. Roman clenched his fists, furious at his brother for bringing Virgil so close to tears.

"Alright,” Remus said quickly. “Let’s forget about that then. Just… are you okay with working with me? I could just go, but the Others thought it would be fitting for me to help, thanks to my extensive list of qualifying traits.” Logan could practically hear the smirk in Remus’ drawl. His voice suddenly dropped to a much serious tone. “Plus, you know they’re going to have to know who their guides are.” Virgil took a shaky breath. When he spoke again, the quiver in his voice was much less noticeable.

“You're supposed to be bonded with one of the Light Sides, though. I mean, at least that's what I was told..." Virgil responded.

"Yeah, yeah, I know! I am!" Remus waved off. Roman and Patton looked over to Logan with obvious confusion, silently asking him to explain. Logan felt the back of his neck grow hot.

"... Excuse me? No no… When? How? Who? Who did you even bond with?” Virgil fired off questions, leaving Remus to laugh to himself.

"Oh Virgie, I thought it was obvious! Patton’s terrified of me, and my brother can’t stand me. That leaves only one side!”

“O-okay, but that doesn’t answer when and how.”

"Not too long ago…” Remus hummed. “Logie's door was locked, so I came in through his window! He was reading, but he looked lonely, and I was curious about the book he was looking at, so we ended up reading each other's stories! He even read some of my snuff fictions! And when he fell asleep, I put him to bed and slept with him!"

Logan could feel the heat from his neck crawl to him an unsightly shade of red. He couldn’t seem to help feeling embarrassed. Everything Remus had said was true, that didn’t mean he wanted everyone to know about it. That night that he had locked himself in his room, he had done so because he had felt like an outcast. He had wanted to talk to the others about his books all night, but none of them were interested. Not until Remus came along. Logan should have expected Remus to enjoy his book about the deadliest animals in the world. That night was calm, and Logan had felt the most like he belonged in a long time. He felt like someone actually cared about his opinions, but wasn’t sure if Remus had appreciated spending time with him, or was simply glad that Logan was someone else he could annoy.

"Okay? So? Did you at least enjoy spending time with him? Enjoying your time with them is kind of an important part of it..." Virgil muttered. 

"Of course I did! Yeah, it’s impossible for me to gross him out or disturb him, but that just makes for a fun challenge! And his willingness to put up with my gory, perverted mind made it even better! What more could I ask for!" Remus explained, voice brimming with excitement. Patton and Roman looked at Logan, who avoided their eyes. Roman was the first to break the silence.

"So you get along with him perfectly, but not me? That's not fair!" Roman huffed, keeping his voice quiet as to not be heard on the other side of the door. Logan sighed, still pointed looking away from Roman.

"Right, well… At the time, you didn't even want to speak with me, even if it was about the books you wrote yourself..." Logan admitted, tone harsher than intended. Roman crossed his arms over his chest defensively.

"Well, I thought you would have just criticized it like you do with everything!" At the last word, Roman threw his arms up on exasperation. Though his eyes held fire, internally, Roman was stewing with guilt. He wished he had kept his mouth shut. He hated fighting with Logan like this. But no matter how much Roman hated it, Roman encompassed Ego, so if Logan retaliated, it was almost without a doubt that Roman would too, no matter how hurtful the words he ended up saying. He was lucky Patton stepped in when Logan opened his mouth to respond. 

“Come on, guys. Let’s not start any fights today, we don’t need to make things worse… Please don’t argue like last night…” Patton’s voice got quieter as he spoke, his fingers fidgeting with the arms of the cardigan around his shoulders. Logan and Roman looked at each other, nodding curtly, but saying nothing to each other. They still held cold looks towards each other. 

"Okay, okay, fine… Just-Just please try not to scare them…” Virgil sighed. The three Light Sides turned back to the door upon hearing Virgil speak again. Logan was unsure if they had missed part of their discussion, or if Virgil had simply taken a while to make his mind about Remus.

"If I do, just tell me to leave. Honestly, I just want to watch!” A beat of silence passed, followed by a shaky breath from Virgil. Remus groaned in response. “Oh, come on now, Virgie!”  
Virgil took a deep breath. "Okay… We should get back to the others, they probably have lots of questions… I just… I’m worried about you Remus,” He mumbled. Remus hummed in confusion.

"Why?”  
"It’s just… How are you dealing with this? It's-It’s going to happen to you soon… so are you doing okay?" Virgil asked. This caught Roman’s attention. He had always assumed his brother was a Dark Side, but Virgil was implying otherwise. He subconsciously leaned further into the door, waiting for some kind of answer about Remus. 

"Virgil…” Remus’ voice softened. “I've been wanting to be a real Dark Side for a long time now. I'm more than willing to accept what's going to happen. I've never felt more at home when I’m with the Others. To be accepted by them and be what they are… That makes me feel like I'm doing the right thing… because even when my brother and Thomas didn't accept me, the Others did. I'm doing it for them. For me," He explained., a hint of awe in his tone.

Roman felt his heart sink. He had never realised how much his rejection had weighted on Remus. PAtton tugged on Roman’s wrist, pulling him back from the door as Virgil’s footsteps approached the door. The three Light Sides were quick to get as far away from the door as they could without being suspicious, but they were unable to reach the chairs before the door opened.

“Good… I’m glad… At least not everyone is upset by this…” Virgil said, looking over his shoulder to Remus. His voice was so quiet that it would have been impossible to decipher the words without knowing the context of the conversation. Virgil turned back to the others, and took a few steps into the library. Remus followed, and let the door fall closed behind him. After a second, Virgil cleared his throat. “Alright… I guess Remus is helping…” Remus didn’t say anything, just gave an impossibly wide grin. Logan nodded, the other two remaining unresponsive, Whether it was because of the conversation they had just heard or in an attempt to not give themselves away, Logan did not know.

“Very well. Are you ready to talk to us about this?” Logan asked. Virgil took a deep breath, closed his eyes, and let out a long sigh. He opened his eyes and offered a shaky smile.  
“Yeah, I-I guess so…”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> if anyone wants to help with the fanfiction in anyway when it comes to making the podfic feel free to message me on discord which is neondemon69#4240


	8. Towner of Questions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Roman, Patton, and Logan finally ask Virgil some questions, and get their much needed answers. Some don't thrill them so much.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ok so this fanfiction means a lot to me i started this fanfiction when I was young and living with a abusive parents and then i lived in a motel and now i live with my brother to get back on track  
> so this fanfiction has been with me through thick and then I've been trying to make it into a podfic with voice actors, artist, ect just low on people willing to help
> 
> i also feel like it's important to say HeadphonesChild helped me edit they're a huge help and i hope you check out their work it would be a understatement to say they're art style is more than worth looking at and I'm so very thankful for them helping me edit it always makes my day to read their edits

Remus and Virgil took their seats in the center of the library, waiting for the others to join them. The three standing sides looked between each other, before sitting with them. “Okay, so…” Virgil bgan awkwardly. “Who’s… Gonna go first?” Silence. The others had so many questions, an overwhelming amount of questions. Remus, unable to bear the silence, jumped in.

"How about we take turns! First one to go has to say the first question on their mind!" Remus exclaimed, grinning widely. He pointed wildly around the circle of chairs, before his finger landed on Logan. “Go!” His tone was almost teasing.

Logan looked up, eyes wide, caught off guard. He had summoned a pen and composition book, and was preparing to take notes. His pen quivered slightly as his fingers twitched, trying to pick one question out of the hundreds in his mind. He cleared his throat, gathering his thoughts. “Well... Virgil, you stated you used to be a Logic yourself. This has caused me to wonder about other Logics and, well, their emotions..." Logan explained, trying to keep a neutral expression, but he was curious, and worried about having emotions, and how it could impact his cognitive abilities.

Virgil sighed softly. "That’s kind of a lot... The first several Logics were emotionless, which, from what I found, didn't end well. Most of them ended up being… rather abusive... They didn't have any empathy or other emotions, so... they did some... not so amazing things... When I was a Light Side, I only had so many emotions. It was... hard... but at least I knew what was wrong of me to do. I think the Mind Palace realized the hard way that Logics shouldn't be emotionless... Honestly, Logan, I think you're the first one with a decent amount of emotions, even if you don't like to show it... you make Thomas passionate about his work and this scheduling stuff... I never got far with it myself... " He explained. Logan took diligent notes on everything Virgil said, but his mind was wandering. He couldn’t dismiss the feeling that something was wrong with him. 

Hearing about the other Logics, and even how Virgil had been as a Logic, it was irrefutable that Logan had emotions, but he couldn’t help feeling like that was a bad thing. Logic shouldn’t have emotions. He didn’t know how to handle them. Sure, he was thankful he wasn’t hurting anyone, he was usually the peacemaker, but that didn’t change the feeling.

Remus mocked a yawn, before pointing to Patton. "Your turn, Padre!" Patton looked up, face flushed nervously. His voice came out sad and broken. 

"... Am… am I going to grow apart from everyone? I love my family, and... I don't want to end up hating them or… or losing them…” His eyes flickered subconsciously between Remus and Roman.

Remus groaned in annoyance, tossing his head back dramatically against his chair. Virgil snapped to face Remus and stop him, but Remus cut himself off before Virgil could. He gave Patton a slightly patronizing look. “Of all the questions you could have asked, you go with that boring monstrosity?” Remus complained. “Of course not! I thought that was obvious. Look at the people around you, Patton! Do you really think they’re going to leave you alone?” Towards the end of his sentence, Remus’ voice softened into an almost sincere tone. In that moment, Patton saw similarities between him and Roman he never thought he would see. Patton gave a watery smile, nodding gently.

“Thank you… Remus…”  
Virgil sighed in relief, grateful at the outcome of the interaction. It could have gone so much worse. It was sort of surreal to see Remus being this nice. Virgil wished he had remembered the debate between Remus and Logan. If he had, maybe he wouldn't have argued with Remus in the hallway like that. Seeing how he was treating the others and how he was willing to help… It made Virgil feel a little guilty.

"Oh, dearest brother! Your turn!" Remus' tone instantly returned to his teasing, obnoxious tone. Roman scowled at his brother, but relented. Remus had been a Dark Side far longer than Virgil, so it wasn’t unreasonable that he’d be able to answer his question. And, while Roman didn’t like him, he wanted to know what was going on much more. He sighed in defeat. 

"Well... Seeing as someone other than Virgil is here now... When we first came here, all of us were... experiencing things." Roman stated vaguely.

"Oh, kinky!" Remus grinned, clapping his hands. 

Roman flushed brightly. "No! You know that’s not what I meant!” Remus pouted slightly. “I’m talking about, like… it felt like the supernatural. I heard, like, 2 or 3 pianos playing... Patton felt something touching him- not that way!”

“You’re no fun.”  
“-and then Logan started hearing voices!" Roman continued as if his brother hadn’t said anything.

Remus looked down and started examining his nails, as if the topic bored him. “It just means you’re close to death.” He said nonchalantly. The room fell silent.Roman’s eyes went wide, and he felt himself grab his sword hilt for comfort. What it would do for him, he didn’t know, but just grasping the familiar cool metal in his fingers made him feel safer. Patton placed his hand on his heart, his fist clenching at the fabric as though he feared he might already be dead. The pen in Logan’s hand bounced against his knee, barely being held by his shaking hand. Questions were racing through his head, but he could articulate any of them. Virgil turned to Remus abruptly, his own eyes wide as he gripped his upper arm.

"What? No, no, you're joking! Please tell me you’re joking!" Virgil said, voice increasingly pleading. Remus looked up from his nails, eyebrows raised. 

“Wow, you really didn't study for this at all, did you, Virgil?" Virgil turned to look at the others, his thoughts racing. 

"But I... I thought it would be a while! And… and besides, what's any of this have to do with them dying?" Remus sighed.

"It’s very rare, but occasionally a few days before they die, Light Sides can see or hear ghosts of Sides. It's called spirit drifting, whatever that means." Remus admitted.

Virgil looked down, feeling like he had already failed them. The others looked at each other, unsure of how to process this information. Roman awkwardly turned to Logan.

“What… What voice did you even hear?” Logan hummed, flipping his notebook closed.  
“It didn’t sound abnormal. It sounded like one of us. It said…” He took a deep breath, trying to remember what the voice had said, “From here on in you shall never age”, I think.” He shook his head slightly, clearing his head of the foggy memories. It was starting to almost feel like a dream. “What about you? What music were the pianos playing?”

Roman shrugged. “They were all different songs, but the only one I can remember was this carnival theme.It was like...” Roman began to hum it, and Patton nodded quickly.  
“Yeah! That sounds like the song that played at the fair Thomas went to when he was little!” Roman snapped his fingers, nodding.  
“Yeah, that’s why it sounded familiar! You remember the creepy clown doll playing piano? I think it was that.”

“I thought the clown was cute…” Patton muttered. Logan turned to Remus and Virgil. Remus was staring at Virgil.

“Your turn, Virgie!” Virgil gave a confused look, before his face flushed slightly in embarrassment. He was supposed to help the others, and Remus was giving him an in. He was supposed to show that he didn’t know everything, and not even a Dark Side can remember or know everything there is to know about being a Dark Side. He was supposed to reassure them.

"Well, at dinner... Roman asked me about forming stuff like scales... I know someone told me but I really have no idea or remember how it works," Virgil said, rushing out the second half of his sentence. 

Remus grinned. "Oh, that? That's easy! That's, like, baby Dark Side information! All Dark Sides can have that stuff! The only thing is that they have to have other damage so bad that when they form from being dead, their bodies have to replace those body parts with something, or have an emotional pain so bad it's almost physical, so your body just assumes you've basically amputated your body!" Remus claimed almost joyfully. Logan hummed. 

“So basically, choose between your mental and physical wellness in this life, or the idea of looking ‘cool’ in the next.”  
Roman looked confused. "Woah, wait... So, what happened to that sneaky snake? Half of his face is all scaly!”

Remus nodded. “Yeah. Long story short, Janus took a bomb to the left half of his body when some crazy side threw a bomb at Virgie here! But Virgil’s was way too young to remember that. Janus lost his eye too, the snake one he has is actually glass!” Virgil looked at Remus, wide eyed and guilty. He didn't remember any of this, remus was right, but he felt awful that he was the reason Janus had gained his scales. Roman shook his head vigorously.

"But… who threw the bomb? You can’t just tell us that someone threw a bomb at Virgil and destroyed half of Deciet’s body, and expect us to just be fine with it! I need some backstory, an explanation!”

“I told you all I know.” Remus admitted.  
Logan looked down at his lap, pen tapping against his leg. He knew that Janus was rather defensive, and that his views on people were rather cynical, but if he had had his scales caused via malicious intent from another side, that would explain-

His rapid thoughts were cut off by a yawn coming from the side next to him. Looking over, he saw Patton leaning back in his chair, head lolling slightly and eyes half-lidded behind his glasses. Logan looked down to his watch and frowned at the time. Four A.M. “Virgil, we should get back to the Mind Palace. It’s rather late, and we need to get some rest in order for Thomas to be at his optimum operating ability.” Roman nodded.

“Yes, a prince does need his beauty sleep,” he added, his dramatic pose falling flat as a wave of tiredness overcame him. Virgil sighed, chewing on the inside of his cheek slightly. 

"I'll check if the Dark Palace door is open now… It better be. We all need to go home." Remus raised an eyebrow. 

"Why not just bring them to the Dark Palace bedroom?" Remus suggested, shrugging. Patton sleepily looked over to Remus, his half-lidded eyes a strange comparison to Remus’ own wide, energetic ones. 

"What's that?" Patton asked, words heavy from sleep. 

"It's a big bedroom with a bed that could probably hold a whole army of Sides!" Remus answered enthusiastically. Roman sighed. He didn’t like the idea of staying in the Dark Palace any longer than he needed to, but he really didn’t want Thomas to be without his Light Sides in the morning, who knows what kind of chaos that could bring? And there was always the possibility that they reach the Dark Palace door, and it doesn’t open again, so they wind up having to stay here anyways, so in the long run…

“I’m too tired to be bothered with the Dark Palace door.” Roman decided. “Let’s just… go to the Dark Palace bedroom or whatever it is.” Virgil nodded in agreement, looking over to see Patton half asleep. He stood, stretching and popping his back, and motioned for the others to follow him. He and Remus lead the pack, down the seemingly endless hallways until they ended up back at the living room.

Virgil approached a bare wall that glowed a soft white in the black lights. He placed his open palm on the wall, and an outline of a door glowed brighter until it had physically manifested, handle and all. Virgil opened the door, holding it open for the others.

The Light Sides had confused, pleased looks on their faces. The room was different from the rest of the Dark Palace. The walls and carpet were a palatable white, without being blinding or overwhelming. The sheets of the larger, seemingly endless bed in the room were a pale grey, almost as light as the white. The end tables next to the bed were made of a pale, birch wood, and held lamps that dimly lit the room with soft, yellow light. It almost looked like something that could be in the Mind Palace.

Patton was the first on the bed. As soon as his head hit a pillow, he was asleep, his nose making small whistling sounds. Logan gently took off Patton’s glasses, placing them on the end table, and covered the snoring side with the grey comforter. Logan undid his tie, wrapped it around his glasses, and laid down himself, arms folded over his stomach. Roman sat on the foot of the bed, chewing his lip before looking to Virgil. "Hey…” He kept his voice soft so as to not wake the sleeping sides. “I...wanted to tell you about something that happened…” Virgil turned, raising a brow. He shrugged off his hoodie, folding it and placing it on the other end table.

“Yeah? What kind of trouble did you get yourself into this time, Princey?" Virgil asked. Roman narrowed his eyes at Virgil’s comment, but otherwise ignored it. 

"When… Patton and I were getting you food, we kinda ran into a Dark Side..." he admitted. Virgil paled slightly. "Oh… Oh God..." Virgil mumbled. Most Dark Sides were bad news. Roman nodded. 

"Yeah... they said they were Thomas's rage…?" Roman wasn’t expecting the sigh of relief from Virgil to follow that statement.  
"Oh, thank God you only met that idiot..." Virgil shook his head, moving to sit next to Roman.

Roman furrowed his brow. “You... know them?" He asked. Virgil nodded like Roman was aking a stupid question. 

"Yeah? He’s... complex. He’s cranky, but we got along fine. I ended up distancing myself from him because he kept getting himself hurt, and he doesn't know how to control his... well, his rage. But he’s never hurt anyone but himself. If anything, he’s actually kinda protective, even more than you, and that’s what made me want to be around him. It’s… nice. Feeling protected." Virgil explained.

A look of surprise crossed Roman’s face. This was the first time he had heard Virgil talk so blatantly kindly about a Dark Side. Sure, he had said that they weren’t all bad, or stood up for some values, but this.. This was different. “I… I see. So, I assume you used to be friends at some point…” That would explain how Rage knew so much about Virgil’s eating habits, and how to talk to him. “I guess… I just didn’t expect someone known as Rage to be so… nice.” Virgil nodded with a soft smile.

“Yeah… well, he used to be a Morality.”  
"No! You’re joking, right? He… He couldn't have been one! That's just... Silly!" Roman said instantly. Virgil snickered  
"I’m not... Sides change over time, whether they’re a Light Side or not... We're like Thomas ‘cause we are Thomas. Being a Dark Side is just... Well, a way, Thomas’ mind is just forcing you to be yourself..." Virgil explained.  
Roman looked down, thinking, before shaking his head. "I'm gonna head to Dreamland to forget about today for a little while. It’s been quite exhausting. Good night, Virgil." Roman said, flopping back on the bed gracelessly and shuffling to get under the covers. Virgil laughed under his breath at Roman, before doing the same, turning off the lamp on the bedside table before getting under the comforter.  
“Yeah… Good night, Ro.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> if anyone wants to help with the fanfiction in anyway when it comes to making the podfic feel free to message me on discord which is neondemon69#4240


	9. Confronting a Liar

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Roman confronts Janus at night. Roman learns why curiosity killed the cat.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ok so this fanfiction means a lot to me i started this fanfiction when I was young and living with a abusive parents and then i lived in a motel and now i live with my brother to get back on track  
> so this fanfiction has been with me through thick and then I've been trying to make it into a podfic with voice actors, artist, ect just low on people willing to help
> 
> i also feel like it's important to say HeadphonesChild helped me edit they're a huge help and i hope you check out their work it would be a understatement to say they're art style is more than worth looking at and I'm so very thankful for them helping me edit it always makes my day to read their edits

Roman's POV

I got up from the bed, almost forgetting we were sleeping in the Dark Palace. I slowly got up, careful not to wake the others. I was thirsty, and my throat felt like sandpaper. I hadn’t drunk much of anything all day. I could only hope that the Dark Palace had clean water, though my hopes weren’t high. I slowly opened the door, grimacing as it creaked. I turned back, but none of the others seemed to have been disturbed by the noise. I sighed and continued out of the room and through to the kitchen, hoping to just grab a glass and fill it from the tap. I was surprised to find Deceit standing in front of the sink, all six of his hands being used to wash the dishes. I looked around at the kitchen. It looked almost nothing like the pigsty I had been in the day before. It was clean, other than a few of the stains on the floor that had been obviously scrubbed at.

On the kitchen table, there was a piece of paper with a list of names. Looking at it, it reminded me of the chore chart that Patton put together for us in the Mind palace. After a moment, it clicked that that’s what it was. Beside each Side’s name was a chore, like picking up trash, vacuuming, picking up laundry. Of the names on the list, only Deceit and Remus didn’t have their names crossed out, for washing and putting away dishes respectively.

It made sense why the place was clean now, and why it was so messy when we first arrived, looking at the chart. There was an army of Sides living in the Dark Palace, compared to the four of us in the Mind Palace. I sighed softly. This seemed to alert Deceit of my presence. He turned his head to look at me, face rudely indifferent. “What do you want?”  
"I just wanted some water," I replied, annoyed by the sharp tone his voice held. Deceit just rolled his eyes, but he used one of his arms to dry one of the glasses he had been washing, and handed it to me.  
“The fridge has a water purifier on it.” I just nodded and went to the fridge, It took me a moment to figure out how the fridge worked, but after a few embarrassing seconds, I realised it was a touchscreen. The symbols on the screen were easy enough to decipher.

I took a small sip of my water, then another, then chugged the rest of the glass down. I hadn’t realised just how thirsty I was until I started drinking. I got myself another drink and sipped it slower this time. I turned back towards Deceit and leaned against the fridge. My eyes lingered on the scales on his face. I couldn’t stop thinking about what Remus had said… If it was true…

“What’s up with those scales, Bananaconda?” I finally settled on asking. My voice was annoyed, though I couldn’t tell whether or not it was intentional, if it was directed at him or me. I had never liked Deceit, but I disliked even more the fact that I was so willingingly talking to him, even if it was just to satiate my curiosity. “Remus said that you got them because someone threw a bomb at Virgil and you protected him, but… I find that hard to believe.” I took another sip of my drink as Deceit sighed. He seemed exhausted, and didn’t appear to much like the question, likely because the story was a lie.

“I hardly remember,” was his only response. I scoffed into my cup.  
“Okay, liar.”  
The water turned off. Two yellow gloved hands were gripping the counter, and another pair slammed down on the surface in tight fists. Deceit whirred around, his face cold and neutral and firey and angry at the same time. “Fine. You want to know what I remember?” His words came out in a hiss. I backed up slightly as his eyes narrowed. “I remember standing in front of Virgil because I could see an intruder who had been following us for who knows how long, then I blacked out and woke up to see Virgil crying. He had seen my body ripped apart.” He crossed a pair of arms. “Is that a satisfying enough answer for you?” His voice was even, but the human side of his face was tinged red, and the corner of his eyes looked wet. The question seemed to have upset him more than I realised. I’m nothing if not stubborn, though, and I just rolled my eyes, refusing to believe a word Deceit had said. He had never given me a reason to in the past.

“Please, you would never help anyone like that, let alone Virgil. I doubt you even know how to help him through his panic atta-” Deceit snapped, cutting me off.  
"I WAS HIS GUIDE WHEN HE WAS A LIGHT SIDE! I PROTECTED HIM FROM DANGER AND LOST HALF MY FUCKING BODY FOR HIM! I talked to him every night, I held him every night, I took care of him, gave him gifts, and… and he traded me for you! And what did you do to him? You insulted him, called him evil, didn’t even care when he ducked out, and I'm the villain for being known as Deceit?

“All I ever did was try to make sure Thomas was happy and safe, but you're seen as the hero? You practically abuse everyone with your words! That night I kidnapped Logan and you didn't even give a fuck-"

"Because I was busy trying to speak with the others!"  
"Okay, fine, say that you were.” Deceit spat. “In the end it doesn’t matter. Because during that time, I talked to him and listened like a normal fucking human being would, and he started crying! For what? Asking his feelings on a situation? How many times have you shut him down, Creativity?” My title came out of Deciet’s mouth, and I never thought hearing it would sting as much as it did. “Even at the Dark Palace door, you told him you didn’t care about his facts. Have you noticed how uncomfortable he’s gotten being in the Mind Palace living room? Do you notice him staying up in his room for longer than he used to, longer than normal, longer than safe? Do you notice him freezing up when you speak too loudly or approach too suddenly? Or do you not care about his obvious signs of PTSD from that night? No one came to check on him after that fiasco. Remus and I were the only ones who ever visited him and made sure he was alright!”

I took a step back at Deciet’s outburst. I knew Logan had been stressed lately, but I had just assumed Patton had been talking to him. I never realised the effect I had on Logan, but looking back, it should have been obvious. Shame and guilt twisted in my stomach, and I braced myself as Deceit opened his mouth to continue.

"You're supposed to be Thomas's hero... yet you hurt everyone around you to boost your own ego just because of your own self-esteem issues. You didn't even hesitate making fun of my name. But if anyone did the same to you, they’d be unbelievably insensitive… isn’t that right?” I turned the words over in my head, trying to deem the truthfulness. In reality… He was right. I had never noticed it before.

“I… I’m sorry…” I choked out to Janus. Tears were starting to form in my eyes. He let out a humourless chuckle.  
"Saying sorry doesn't fix anything, now doesn't it?" Deceit hissed at me. I flinched back slightly. The tears were running freely now, the knot in my stomach tightening. I was scared, but not of Janus… rather, of myself. What I could do, what I had been doing to my friends. 

Janus let out a quiet sigh, and his eyes softened slightly. “Go back to bed. We’re both too tired to have this conversation now. My apologies. I was already…. Stressed. I’ll make it up to you tomorrow.” I didn't say anything. There was nothing I could say. I felt like I was halfway to a mental breakdown then and there. Everything Janus had said twisted painfully like knives in my chest. It was all true.

Why couldn’t he have lied to me?  
I left the kitchen. I heard the water turn back on after my back turned. Janus was continuing to wash the dishes. It was as if nothing had changed. For me, everything had. When I reached the bedroom, I was extra careful not to disturb the others. I didn’t want them to see me like this. 

I crawled into the empty spot I had left, between Logan and Virgil. My heartache worsened as I thought about what Janus had said, all the awful things I had said to Logan, all the times I’ve probably hurt him by shutting him down or telling him I didn’t care… I couldn’t help myself as I I wrapped my arms around Logan and pulled him close, as if to protect him. It was ironic that I was mainly trying to protect him from myself. Logan normally didn’t like being touched, especially by me. He always said I was too rough, hugging too tight or too suddenly, but I needed this. I was as gentle as possible, but the motion was still enough to wake him up. I saw the glint of his eyes as he looked up at me.

“Roman, you’re crying,” he stated simply, voice quiet as to not wake the others. He didn’t pull away from my sudden hug, which was reassuring. He seemed concerned by my sudden change of mood and, though he didn’t ask, I knew him telling me that I was crying was his way of asking what was wrong.

“I-I’m sorry…” I hiccupped. “I’m s-sorry for everything I-I’ve ever done to you… I’m sorry f-for shutting you down, or-or insulting you, or making fun of you, or telling you I-I don’t care… I’m sorry for th-thinking my project was more important than you, and n-not dropping it to go save you when you were kidnapped, a-and I’m sorry I didn’t even ch-check in on you afterwards. I… I want to be better to you…” I bit my lip to stifle a sob, one that would have likely been loud enough to wake Virgil or Patton.

I heard Logan sigh, a little puff of breath tickling my cheek. His arms wrapped around me tentatively. “It’s rather late for this. You can worry about this tomorrow, but right now, it’s clear you’re exhausted. Just try to rest.” A beat. “It’s okay, Roman.” I rubbed Logan’s back softly, more of a comfort for me than for him, as I attempted to calm down. All I saw was his messy hair as I began to fade into sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> if anyone wants to help with the fanfiction in anyway when it comes to making the podfic feel free to message me on discord which is neondemon69#4240


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Janus' old diary entry after he became a Dark Side.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ok so this fanfiction means a lot to me i started this fanfiction when I was young and living with a abusive parents and then i lived in a motel and now i live with my brother to get back on track  
> so this fanfiction has been with me through thick and then I've been trying to make it into a podfic with voice actors, artist, ect just low on people willing to help
> 
> i also feel like it's important to say HeadphonesChild helped me edit they're a huge help and i hope you check out their work it would be a understatement to say they're art style is more than worth looking at and I'm so very thankful for them helping me edit it always makes my day to read their edits

Dear Diary.

It's been a few months since I wrote in here. So much has happened in the past few months. It's been hard to keep track of things. During the first month, I was alone. Logic and Morality left me behind as soon as we turned into Dark Sides. I guess they aren’t Logic and Morality anymore.

I still miss them, even with all the bruises they gave me… I still have an eyepatch from my death as a Light Side. I wonder if I’ll ever get a new eye.

Still, I thought they were my family. I never thought they would hurt me. Was I wrong? Am I really that horrible? Is that why they left me?

I tried making friends with the Dark Sides in the Dark Palace next to me, but they’re all so fancy. I decided to act like they did. I made fancy clothes and spoke funny and it was fun, but it got out of hand after a while. 

People were treating me like I could take responsibility, but I have no idea what I’m doing. It got to be too much and I told them the truth. Something weird happened when I did that. I felt something on my back, like a burn or a knife stabbing me. It happened so suddenly, that I didn’t have time to look at my back during the pain. When I looked at it later, I found a scar. It said Deceit.

Only one of the Dark Sides there decided to stay friends with me after I told them the truth. He told me that I was still learning, and that me telling the truth even at a bad time was a good thing. I don’t understand what he meant. 

I found a library in the Dark Palace. I started reading everything and learning everything I could about being a Dark Side. I learned a lot about my body, but I didn’t find anything about the scar on my back, or if I’ll ever get a new eye. 

I did find out about something called a “Guide”. They’re Dark Sides that feel a sudden shock, followed by an attachment to a Light Side, and grow up with them. They’re supposed to teach them everything about being a Dark Side before they die. I wish I’d had a guide. It’s horrible being here and not knowing anything.

I hate my new body. I feel gross. One night, I was burning hot for no reason. I think I even had a heat stroke. I got really sick from it. Another day, I started losing the feeling of pain in my body. It’s scary to get hurt and not feel it. Especially when I accidentally broke my fingers and didn’t realise until I couldn’t pick anything up. At least everything goes back to normal in the morning. Still, it scares me whenever it happens.  
Something happened.

Something I was not at all ready for. It turns out the door on the left to the Dark Palace I live in is the Mind Palace. I saw the new Logic, and it wouldn't have been bad, but I felt that shock that the book was talking about. I had only read it a week before. I don't know how to take care of myself as a Dark Side, I’ve only been one for 5 months, and now I'm suddenly a guide for a future dark side! 

At first, my instinct was to run away. I was scared. But when the Logic talked to me, I didn't want to leave. If anything, I felt an urge to hug him. I don't know why this happened. I'm the worst possible guide for this side. The Logic kept visiting me, so I started learning more about him. We told each other our names (his name is Virgil). He's weird, nothing like the Logic I knew before he died. Virgil likes stuff like spiders and My Chemical Romance. He told me how their song Mama was about war.

He gets lots of bug bites, and he keeps scratching at his arms, causing him to get bruises and scabies. I've been trying to teach him better ways to deal with them. I even got him a jacket to cover his arms and to put his hands in the pockets when he felt like scratching! Though, I've noticed instead of scratching or using the jacket, he’s been holding my hands. It makes my stomach feel weird when he does that. I feel like, if something happened to him, I would lose it. I like feeling like I’m keeping him safe.

Is this what it feels like to care for someone and have them care back? If it is, I don't think I can ever let go of this Side. I'm glad he feels as safe with me as I do with him. That Dark Side who's still my friend has been helping me learn about Dark Sides so I can keep Virgil safe and happy. I still haven't asked him about my scar. I don't know why. I feel ashamed of it.

I should go. Virgil comes to the Dark Palace around this time, normally. He told me he feels safer sleeping next to me, especially since, from what it sounds like, the other Light Sides he lives with act like the ones I grew up with. I'm okay with him sleeping next to me. It gives me peace of mind. It helps me sleep too, in the end.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> if anyone wants to help with the fanfiction in anyway when it comes to making the podfic feel free to message me on discord which is neondemon69#4240


	11. A Sugar Coated Breakfast

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I would like to go first,” Logan proclaimed. He hadn’t intended to say as much at breakfast in front of everyone. He had meant to approach Virgil independently. But now seemed like as good a time as any. The table was shocked into silence for a few moments, other than Patton’s hiccupping breaths.
> 
> “W-What?” Patton asked, his voice soft, like he was afraid to break the silence, or maybe Logan. Like maybe Logan had gone insane. Maybe he had. Even so, he didn’t back down from his position.
> 
> “I want to be the first of us to turn.” Logan spoke at a much more reasonable volume. “It’s inevitable, and I would like to be an example of what will happen, at least when I become a Dark Side.” Patton had covered his mouth, and fresh tears were rolling down his cheeks. Roman’s face was flushed an angry shade of pink, and tears were in the corners of his eyes, but not falling.
> 
> Roman slammed his hand down on the table, making the plates rattle. “Logan, we are not letting you do this! We’re not going to let you do this so you can-can be your own… Test subject!”

Virgil woke up slowly. Patton was cuddling up close to him, which made him flush deeply. He tried to sit up slowly, but he still woke Patton up. The other Side, still groggy and half asleep, started feeling around the bed for his glasses. Logan was sat up against the headboard, a still sleeping Roman curled up against him. “Your glasses are on the side table, Patton,” Logan said in a soft whisper. Patton nodded sleepily and turned towards the nightstand, grabbing his glasses. He slipped them on and blinked a few times to refocus his eyes.

Virgil snickered, looking down at Roman clutching Logan’s shirt as he slept. He knew he was a heavy sleeper, but he didn’t expect Roman to be a cuddler, especially towards Logan. He always seemed so standoffish with the Logical Side.

“What’s with Sleeping Beauty there?” Logan shrugged at Virgil's teasing remark.

“He fell asleep like this when he was crying, I didn’t have the heart to move him.” Virgil felt a stab of guilt at the blunt answer.

“Wait… Really?”

“He kept apologizing for all the hurtful things he’s done.” Virgil let his gaze flicker between Roman and Logan, but before he could ask anything else, Logan was shaking the sleeping side awake. “Roman. Wake up. We’re going to get breakfast.” Roman blinked slowly, eyes bleary, before he rubbed them with the heels of his palms when Logan kept shaking him.

“Alright, alright…” He yawned. “I’m up.” Roman had never been a morning person. It always took a few moments before his brain began functioning properly. Hence why, his tired expression darkened after a few seconds as he remembered the night before. He didn’t remember falling asleep, but he remembered crying, and a lot of apologizing had been involved. He hoped no one noticed his shift in mood as he moved to get out of the bed. Patton yawned before flashing the group a sleepy smile.

“I hope the Mind Palace door is open,” He said. Virgil nodded in agreement, and Logan just shrugged before looking at Virgil.

“You have more information you wish for us to know, isn’t that right? Would it be alright if we… or I, at least, continued visiting these sides?” Logan asked. Roman looked at Logan, the question of why Logan wanted to be here a second longer than necessary on the tip of his tongue, but after last night…

“I’ll… Go with Logan too… If that’s alright…” Roman said. Logan looked over, surprised, but he didn’t say anything. Virgil just nodded. 

“Yeah, sure,” He answered, waving off the request. He swung his legs off the side of the bed and stood, stretching out his back with a satisfying crack. “I’m gonna go see if the door’s open. Why don’t you, uh… Go to the kitchen? You can start making food if you want… There should be pancake mix and a clean pan somewhere… They usually clean the kitchen by now…”

Logan nodded, standing up. He unwrapped his tie from around his glasses to tie it, and put them on. He took the lead, Patton and Roman following Logan out of the bedroom to the kitchen. Patton couldn’t help looking around the Dark Palace in awe. It had been disgusting, verging on destroyed just yesterday, but now it was unbelievably clean. It even looked like there was new wallpaper in place. The stains that Patton remembered being on the wall the day before were nowhere to be seen. He couldn’t help being impressed. This was far above even what he could do in a day in the Mind Palace.

On one of the many computers in the main room was a black post-it note, with white writing on it. “Thanks to whoever picked up the trash! It made things so much easier!” Patton couldn’t help the wide smile spreading across his face when he read that. His thoughts were interrupted by the smell of something sweet drifting through the air. Patton instantly recognised the smell. 

“It smells like someone made pancakes! I wonder who cooked them!” Patton looked over to Logan, who nodded.

“Let’s go see,” He suggested, leading the way toward the kitchen. Roman hesitantly followed. Logan noticed Roman still looked guilty, but he couldn’t help but wonder why. He thought they had aired out any bad blood between them the night before.

Patton rushed forward once they reached the kitchen, seeing four plates of pancakes on the table. There were two on each plate, and covered nearly the entire surface of the china. They appeared to be light and fluffy, and topped with a light dusting of powdered sugar. Logan grabbed the folded paper that was tucked under one of the plates. 

“For the Light Sides,” was scrawled messily on the front. Logan opened up the note, reading the unfamiliar handwriting. “Sorry you had to see me almost die from blood loss. Also, tell Virgil I ate one (and no they aren't poison!) There's instant coffee in the cabinet- Rage" 

Logan raised an eyebrow at the note. He vaguely recognised the name from having overheard a conversion between Virgil and Roman the night before. He slipped the note into his breast pocket, deciding now was not the best time to ask Roman about it. "I suppose we should eat?" He prompted. Patton nodded eagerly and started rushing around the kitchen, looking around in the cabinets and fridge for assorted things to put on the pancakes. 

Virgil walked into the kitchen with a little puff of air that sounded like the beginnings of a laugh. “I’m guessing this was Rage’s doing?” He asked, looking at the pancakes. Logan nodded.

“How did you know?” Virgil shrugged.

“He kinda held onto that need to… care, I guess. Plus, he always uses way too much sugar,” He answered, gesturing to the crystals of sugar thinly coating the pancakes. "He normally puts sugar in the pan before making pancakes and it shows." 

"Is there any news on the door?" Roman asked from where he was sat at the kitchen table. He was picking half-heartedly at his pancakes as he looked at Virgil. Virgil shook his head with a soft sigh.

"No dice. I think it’s maybe jammed, so Janus is looking at it later after work," Virgil said, sitting rather gracelessly in the chair next to Roman. Roman raised a brow, putting his fork down; Virgil had his undivided attention now.

"Wait... Work? Do Dark Sides have jobs?" Roman asked. Virgil nodded.  
"It's mainly jobs like…” Virgil hesitated for a moment, trying to think of how to describe the jobs. “Well, my job is to kinda guide you guys... Janus explores Thomas' mind, and Remus does the same, but, like, he goes through more dangerous parts,” He settled on. "Once you're a Dark Side, you can choose your own job."

Roman let out what sounded like a sigh of relief. "So, I could keep creating things and ideas for Thomas if I wanted to?" He asked. Virgil nodded. 

"Yeah, I don't see why not."

"Oh, thank goodness, some good news I can get behind!" Roman said dramatically with a large smile. 

Patton appeared at the table, arms full of an assortment of toppings: maple syrup, butter, chocolate syrup, whipped topping, any fresh fruit that was still good that he had found in the fridge, peanut butter, and an unlabeled jar of jam. It looked to be homemade, and Patton knew Logan would prefer Crofter’s on his pancakes, but he figured he should offer it just in case. Logan looked at the jam in curiosity and spread a thin layer on a small portion on his pancake. He took a bite, and seemingly pleased with the taste, he grabbed the jar and spread an exorbitant amount on his pancake. Patton raised his brow at Logan and roman blinked in silent alarm. 

"Hey, uh kiddo... I know we're in a bit of a jam, but, uh... what's with all the jelly?" He asked. Logan looked up, expression unimpressed.

“Firstly, Patton, jelly and jam are different. Secondly, this is obviously Crofter’s, only in an unlabeled container.” Roman perked up, looking at the jar in interest.

“Can I have some?”

“You may,” Logan said, handing Roman that half-empty jam jar. Virgil shifted uncomfortably in his seat.

“Well… It’s homemade, but… It’s made from a Crofter’s recipe I found online…” He murmured. Patton tilted his head at Virgil.

“Did you make it?” He asked. Virgil looked down at his pancakes, cheeks flushed faintly, but nodded softly. Patton let out a gasp, his eyes sparkling brightly behind his glasses. “My dark son can make jelly!” Logan rolled his eyes at Patton, knowing there was no point in trying to tell Patton that jelly and jam was different again. He would be ignored, as he usually was. He may as well save his voice.

Roman watched Logan for a moment. Logan looked annoyed, almost like he was trying to burn holes into the table with his eyes as he stared at it. Roman decided he didn’t like that look. “What’s the difference between jam and jelly, anyways? It seems pretty similar to me,” Roman asked, attempting to cheer Logan up. 

Logan looked up, surprise obvious in his eyes, like he couldn’t believe Roman was willing to listen to him. Logan was quick to drop his expression to a more neutral one. “The difference is most obvious in the texture. Jam is a puree of fruit and other ingredients, which means it will have chunks of the fruit in it, whereas jelly is just fruit juice and pectin.” Roman hummed, taking a bite of his pancake. 

“So what you’re saying…” Roman started, “is that if I eat jelly, then I’m really eating fruit juice?” Logan nodded in conformation, and Roman scrunched his nose up. “Great. I feel like my brother for having even thought of that.” Logan let out a huff through his nose, trying to stifle his laugh. Roman noticed and gave a small smile. He didn’t really mind what he had said. He was just glad he had cheered Logan up.

Logan turned to look at Virgil. “Would it be possible for you to make more? I’m sure we could provide enough materials once back in the Mind Palace for you to make approximately 10 or 11 jars. That would prevent us from fighting over the last of the jam constantly.”

Virgil gave a soft sigh. “I suppose…” He didn’t sound very enthused. Logan frowned gently.

“Virgil, you don’t have to if you don’t want to,” Logan attempted to reassure. Virgil shook his head. 

“It’s-It’s not that. I just haven’t been… making a lot of things since I’ve lived with you guys. I-I… I’m not sure if I’m any good anymore.” He rubbed his upper arm. There was a lapse in the conversation, and for the first time since sitting down to eat, rain could be heard pattering outside the Dark Palace. Roman looked to the window, watching the water streak along the glass. 

“Does it normally storm like that here?” He asked, taking another bite of his pancake, not removing his eyes from the window. Virgil nodded beside him.

“Usually, it’s just at night. Thomas finds the rain soothing, so it helps us for when we’re trying to sleep…” 

Roman stood, walking towards the window. He couldn’t remember the last time he had seen the rain. The Mind Palace didn’t get rain. It was almost always sunny and bright, like the Light Sides were meant to be. Roman missed the rain. It almost always motivated him. 

He opened the window and stuck his head outside, a wide smile plastered on his face as he felt the cool raindrops hit his face and the wild wind tousel his hair. He could see the garden below the window. It was full of plants in various beautiful shades of greens, with some of the brightest flowers he had ever seen. In the pond a little further on, he could see patterned slugs on the bank, frogs playing in the rain, water snakes swimming with grace, turtles bobbing at the surface…

He hadn’t expected such beauty. It was comparable to the garden he took such pride in at the Mind Palace, with his bright iris flowers and daisies and rabbits and ducks. He had expected the terrain to be flat and unused, or to look like a warzone. 

CRACK!

Roman felt a jolt go through his body as a white light blinded him. He was quick to pull away from the window, and as he tried to stand up straight, he stumbled. It took him a moment to realise that he had been struck by lightning. 

Logan was the first to his side, trying to keep him upright. “Roman, are you alright?” His voice held obvious concern. Roman tried to offer a reassuring smile, but it took a lot of effort.

“Yeah, just… A little dizzy.” And honestly, that’s how he felt. Other than being dizzy and still having bright white spots in his vision, Roman felt fine. Immediately, Logan started mother henning him.

“You could have gone into cardiac arrest, or gotten serious brain damage! How’s your hearing? Can you see alright?” Roman took a moment to process all of Logan’s questions, then another that Logan was actually worried about his well being, not Thomas’. His smile came more easily when he tried again.

“Logan, I’m okay,” He assured. Logan sighed, but didn’t press further as he helped Roman to the table. Roman stumbled slightly, and he was sure that without Logan’s help, he would have fallen over. He was still so dizzy…

Logan took his own seat and adjusted his glasses, looking to Virgil. “There are still some questions I have that have yet to be answered,” He said. Virgil sighed.

“I know…” He mumbled under his breath, before looking up to meet Logan’s eyes. “What is it? Hit me with it. As many as you have.”

“How does… How do memories work? I remember Thomas’ childhood vividly, but Thomas doesn’t remember you or Janus,” Logan asked. 

“Thomas didn’t know us before he started the videos. He didn’t visit or summon us… and, well… He’s not gonna remember you after you turn into a Dark Side. Not how you are now.” Virgil’s voice was soft as he spoke. Logan furrowed his brow, clear confusion crossing his face. A coldness crept up his spine, but he tried his hardest not to seem unsettled by the news. Patton, however, had grabbed Roman’s hand. He was easily just as touchy-feely as the Romantic Side, and searched for comfort in physical touch. Patton looked on the verge of tears as he spoke to Virgil.

“K-Kiddo…” His voice was watery and broken. “Come one, that can’t be true… Thomas wouldn’t forget us!... Would he?” Roman squeezed Patton’s hand, trying to comfort him. 

“Yeah! How does that even work? That’s not fair at all, and it doesn’t make any sense,” Roman argued. Virgil sighed, looking down at the table again and rubbing his forearm. 

“I-I’m sorry guys… I wish I knew why. There’s only theories… I hated it too… Everyone here did…” Virgil bit his lip, wincing back as Patton started letting out little hiccupping sobs. Roman rubbed Patton’s back with his free hand, still holding his hand in his other. Patton buried his face into Roman’s shoulder, and Roman held him close, hiding his own face in Patton’s hair, trying to hide his own silent tears. Logan was looking at his pancakes, but he had lost his appetite. He felt the distinct burn of tears at the back of his eyes, and he attempted to blink them away. Logan took a shaky breath.

“Virgil, I…” He trailed off. For once, he couldn’t find the right words to say. He didn’t think that words could convey the emotions he felt right now. He cleared his throat and tried again. “Can we at least visit Thomas after all this happens?” Virgil nodded.

“Of course… You can visit him whenever you want… I try to visit him every day, and you know that Janus and Remus visit him sometimes… he might be nervous or scared of you at first, but… It’ll get better.” A sniffle came from Patton, and he peeked up from Roman’s shoulder.

“C-Can… Can we talk to him before we… go?” He asked, wiping his tears away. The motion was useless, as more just replaced them.  
Virgil nodded. “Of course. He probably should know…” Virgil’s voice lowered as he muttered under his breath. “Fuck, I actually need to test and see how close your deaths are…”  
Logan bit his lip.

“I would like to go first,” He proclaimed. He hadn’t intended to say as much at breakfast in front of everyone. He had meant to approach Virgil independently. But now seemed like as good a time as any. The table was shocked into silence for a few moments, other than Patton’s hiccupping breaths, but even those seemed significantly quieter. Virgil blinked at him.

“W-What?” He asked, his voice soft, like he was afraid to break the silence, or maybe Logan. Like maybe Logan had gone insane. Maybe he had. Even so, he didn’t back down from his position.

“I want to be the first of us to turn.” Logan spoke at a much more reasonable volume. “It’s inevitable, and I would like to be an example of what will happen, at least when I become a Dark Side. I feel as though talking about this subject is bringing up thoughts of the less than pleasant side of what I am propositioning or what might happen, and my mind is already made up on the matter, so I think it is best we drop the issue and move on to metaphorically diving in to get a better understanding.” Patton had covered his mouth, and fresh tears were rolling down his cheeks. Roman’s face was flushed an angry shade of pink, and tears were in the corners of his eyes, but not falling. In the back of his mind, Logan felt guilty as he registered that this was why he didn’t want Roman and Patton there for the conversation. They both got too emotionally invested in every choice; Virgil could look at things objectively. 

Roman slammed his hand down on the table, making the plates rattle. “Logan, we are not letting you do this! We care about you, whether you believe it or not, and we’re not going to let you do this so you can-can be your own… Test subject!” Logan shook his head.

“No… Roman, if this is Thomas’ way of growing up, we need to be ready to grow with him. I’m ready. It’ll no doubt be hard, but… I am ready.” Logan looked over to Virgil. He was staring down at the table, nervously rubbing his upper arm. 

“Alright, I guess… I’ll do what I can to make sure you’re first…” Virgil sighed and looked up. “But… I need to be honest about something… It’s hard for me too…” The others glanced around to each other, and Patton preemptively grabbed Roman’s hand, expecting more bad news. “I-I… I can’t guide you all. I mean, I can try, but… Before you become a Dark Side, you’re supposed to find a Dark Side who’s the opposite of you. They’re supposed to be the ones taking care of you once you meet them… Not me. I’m just supposed to get you to your true guides safely. I wish I could guide all of you but I just… I can’t…”

When the three met gazes again, it was obvious they were all going through mental checkboxes, trying to figure out who their true guides would be. Patton liked Janus and Virgil plenty, and Rage used to be a Morality, so he didn’t seem quite right either. If the guide was supposed to keep them safe, he doubted it was Remus. He didn’t feel very safe with the Intrusive Side. Maybe it was a Side he hadn’t even met yet. The thought made him uneasy, but he wasn’t sure why.

Logan got along with the Dark Sides very nicely, so he couldn’t imagine any of them making him feel unsafe. Virgil always had this calming air around him when they “engaged in solitary activities together”, and Janus, even when he kidnapped him, treated him very well, given a cozy room with new psychology books, coffee, and soothing music. He stayed to talk to him for a while before going to trick the others. And of course, that night with Remus was never far from his memory. The warm feeling when Remus asked him questions, the easily flowing conversation, how wide Remus’ eyes got when he spoke about his favourite subject… Logan figured it would likely be burned into his memory forever. But he was too similar to all these sides; none of them were the opposite that Virgil had described. 

However, Roman couldn’t think of a single possible guide for him. Sure, he liked Virgil fine, but he never had a deep connection to him, not in the same way Patton and Logan did. Certainly not enough for him to be his guide. Roman hated Remus, and there was no doubt in his mind that Remus didn’t want to be his guide. Besides, as much as he hated to admit it, they were far too similar. And he had a hard enough time getting along with Dec- with Janus, but after last night, there was no way he was going to want to be Roman’s guide. And there was something about Rage that rubbed Roman the wrong way, but he was the only other Dark Side they had seen so far. It had been by complete accident that they had stumbled upon them, so what if they didn’t find someone else while they were here? Would he just remain guidelines and alone? Roman subconsciously curled up on himself. He had never felt so… unwanted.

Virgil looked down. “The best thing I can think of to do right now is… Maybe you all should explore this place without me for a little? Try and bond with people? I… I got my guide at first sight, but I read that was rare, so… It might not be as easy for you guys…” They nodded to Virgil, Roman albeit reluctantly. 

Virgil turned to Logan, a small frown on his face. “Before you go, Logan, if you want… I can still show you how to go in a painless way when you’re ready… I can at least do that…” Logan blinked in brief surprise, caught off guard by hearing Virgil so readily propose something like that, but he nodded in confirmation. Roman gave a scoff, and Patton gripped Roman’s arm in obvious fear. However, neither of them tried to stop him, figuring that this was something that they would likely need. Going painlessly by whatever Virgil’s method was was much preferable to other alternatives.

Virgil stood and walked over to the cabinet, pulling out a small box with what seemed to be tea leaves. Roman tilted his head 

“Tea?..” He asked in a mutter. Virgil nodded, opening his mouth to speak, only to be cut off by an unmistakable voice from the living room.

“It has water hemlocks, nightshades, white snakeroot... Everything that can kill you in a heartbeat!” Remus exclaimed, walking into the kitchen. He reached into the still open cabinet and pulled down a bag of instant coffee. He opened the bag and poured a bit into his mouth. 

Behind him, the table was tense. Virgil looked back at Remus, and seeing the little smile on his face, Virgil knew he knew, and that he had an idea. The fact that Remus had an idea made him nervous. Reasonably, he knew that Remus was trying to help, but he didn’t have the best ways of doing that. Remus turned and wrapped his around Virgil’s shoulders. His breath smelled overwhelmingly of coffee.

“Sooo... You gonna drink that shit?” Remus asked. The others at the table looked taken aback by his comment, and Roman’s expression was bordering on furious.

“Remus! Don’t you dare suggest such a thing!” He shouted, clearly offended. Virgil looked between Roman and Remus, the statement taking a moment to sink in. Virgil quickly shook his head.

“No, no! Roman, it’s fine! Dark Sides sometimes drink it to die… It’s mainly for medical purposes, so it’s not a big deal… Not unless you become addicted to it… It can be addicting…” Virgil explained. Roman furrowed his brow, and Logan summoned his notebook, flipping through it to write down this new information. Patton was still holding Roman’s arm, obviously nervous. Virgil looked over to Remus considering his plan. He would have to ask Remus to watch the others, but… He knew the answer would be yes. He was so grateful for Remus’ willingness to help, no matter how surprising it was to him. This was serious to him. Virgil looked down at the teabox for a moment, before flicking his eyes back up at the table. “I think I will drink some... I haven’t died in a while, and... You guys need to take a break from me taking care of you.” Virgil gave a small smile. 

Roman had to physically bite his tongue to keep from yelling at Virgil not to. Patton was the first one to speak.

“W-Wait! Kiddo, how long will you be gone? You-You can’t just disappear on us! What are we supposed to do?” 

“Only a day… And that’s up to you guys. If you need help, you can ask Remus.” Virgil turned to look at the Intrusive Side. “Is that okay?” Remus nodded eagerly.

“Hmm… I suppose…” He said coyly. “Are you going to get mad if I tell them about juicy stuff?” He asked, raising a brow with a smirk. Virgil huffed out a groan. 

“For fucks… Fine. But only because I know I can’t,” He mumbled. Remus’ smirk turned into an excited grin, and Virgil just shook his head in exasperation. 

“Oh, one more thing,” Remus hummed. “About the test…?”

“I’ll call them so you don’t have to deal with that,” Virgil answered. Logan raised a brow.

“I’ll hazard a guess that this is the test to see when we will be Dark Sides that you were talking about, Virgil?” Logan said. Virgil nodded curtly. “If so,” He continued, “Why can’t Remus just call?” A small, amused grin slipped onto Virgil’s face.

“The Doctor just has the syringes, which is all I need. I can perform that actual test. But Remus isn’t allowed in the Dark Palace Doctor’s office anymore. He always either breaks either or causes some kind of trouble, and the Doctor really hates him.” Remus crossed his arms childishly and grumbled under his breath. 

“Oh…” Logan hummed. Virgil sighed and pulled out his phone, absentmindedly putting in his passcode.

“I’ll call him so I can get the process for the tests started… I have no idea how long you have, which honestly really scares me, but hopefully it’s not too soon. And the test will say when you can die to become a Dark Side, and how long you can go without dying before becoming a Dark Side, and how long after you die you have before you become a Dark Side. It’s a lot of useful information.” Patton looked a little paler than normal, and Logan was tapping his pen on his notebook… both clear signs of their nerves. Remus seemed excited, like he had been waiting for this day for a long time. 

“Why don’t you just let us go to this person to do this test?” Roman asked. He sounded agitated. A sign of his nerves. “I mean, I don’t want to meet any Dark Sides alone, but Patton and Logan will be there.” Virgil sighed.

“As much as I want you guys to do your own thing, this Side’s appearance isn’t exactly as… palatable as Remus’s or Janus’,” He admitted.

“Oh? How so?” His tone sounded like a challenge, and Virgil gave a groan.

“I-I don’t know! It’s hard to explain… You’ll probably see him soon, though. He might come to us. Just… Relax, okay? I’m gonna call them now.”

From where he was sitting, Roman could barely see it, but he noted that Virgil opened up the messages for L.S. again, this time calling the number. He couldn’t help wondering what L.S. stood for. Lust? Loss?

After two rings, the phone was answered by a side with what sounded to be a British accent. “Oi, I’m in the middle of a surgery, so this had best be important.” From where he sat, Roman could hear the aggravation in the other Side’s voice. Virgil transferred his phone from one hand to the other, taking a deep breath, obviously trying to not to panic. 

“Y-Yeah, it is! Uh, some… Some of the Light Sides want to know how long they have so… we need to test them. Yeah…” He finished lamely. Roman raised his brow at Virgil, listening to the Side on the other end of the speaker respond. Their voice had calmed considerably, apparently having found this worthy of being interrupted for.

“Ah, yes. I’ll be right down there, Virgil-”

“Woah woah! Wait a goddamn second! You aren’t seriously thinking of leaving me like this, are you?” Roman and Patton met eyes as Rage’s voice came through the speaker, cutting off the Doctor. The other side sighed.

“Oh, don’t be such a big baby. I’ll be back in a second,” They said, their accent irrationally soothing for what they were saying.

"W-WOAH, WAIT! I STILL HAVE MY CHEST CUT OPEN, YOU CAN'T JUS-" Rage’s protests were cut off by a beep, the phone on the other end having hung up. Logan blinked from where he sat, attempting to process the call. He had never met this ‘Rage’, but the call piqued his curiosity more than the note did. He knew he would go crazy, trying to study every Dark Side he came across, and from experience he was well aware that the sides here weren’t likely to take too kindly to being hooked up to a variety of machines for testing. He had tried that with Virgil. For now, he decided, he would keep his racing thoughts to himself. Answers would come to him eventually.

Virgil bit his lip, looking down at the teabox he held in his hand. After a moment, he tucked his phone back in his pocket and set the tea down. He reached into a cabinet above the sink and pulled out a stainless steel teapot and filled it with water absently. He flicked on the stove top and placed the pot on the active burner. He watched the flame flicker, trying to measure his breaths. He was sure his anxiety was obvious. He glanced at the door to the kitchen, waiting for the Doctor to appear. Patton was still gripping Roman’s hand, tighter than before, as he watched Virgil. He looked like he longed to go over and help, but he didn’t know if he wanted to move. Roman took a shaky breath, giving Patton’s hand a light squeeze back. Logan, on the whole, seemed relatively unaffected. It was hard to tell if it was because he was or if he was just that good at hiding it. 

“Is there any way to find more Sides so we can figure out who our guides will be? Can we die without one?” Logan asked patiently, breaking the silence. Virgil nodded, still not looking over at the table.

“You could try to find a Side that’s the opposite of what you represent now, or... a Side who used to be what you are now. You’re… You’re basically trying to find someone who you’ll both find some kinda benefit from each other... like emotionally or physically...” Virgil admitted to them. “And... Yes, you can die without your guide. You may not even have a guide at all. If… If that happens, you get to have a step guide, which is what I’ve been trying to do for you guys...” 

Logan looked, scratching that into his notebook. Being without a guide… he guessed there was more he could learn about guides than he thought he could. He supposed he could try to learn more about guides on his own, reading in the library where Virgil had gotten most of his information, but he figured Roman and Patton weren’t going to do that, and he wanted them to have as much information as he did, incase it was ever pertinent. 

“I could take them to a few Sides, if you like!” Remus chirped, butting into the conversation once again. “I could even take them to the library if they wanna find something!” Virgil turned to look at him, and he was worrying his lip, before relenting with a sigh. 

“Yeah, alright. That sounds… Okay. Just-Just don’t let them go too deep into the Dark Palace.” 

“Why not?” Patton asked. His voice was small, but it cut through the air like a knife. He hadn’t spoken in a while. Virgil turned to look at him, seemingly unsure of how to answer.

“The deeper you go, the more violent Sides get,” Remus explained. Virgil nodded in agreement.

“Which is why Remus is going to be watching you-”

“And telling you about Dark Side dicks!” He cut in enthusiastically. He grinned mananically at Virgil. “Say, want to be a volunteer so they can see the real thing?” Virgil felt his face grow hot. 

“I-I-” He bit his lip in an attempt to stop his stutter, He couldn’t tell if Remus was joking or legitimately trying to help. He knew they needed to learn about that stuff, but he didn’t even want to think about them looking at that part of him! Remus burst into laughter a few agonizing moments of silence.

“Oh, come on now, little Virgin! You know I wouldn’t go that far! I know your limits! It’s just so much fun to watch you get all flustered!” Remus claimed. The others sitting at the table turned red. Even Logan gained a subtle flush to his features. It was obvious they felt embarrassed. Patton’s mind was racing. What was Remus talking about? Was this just his usual, unsettling nature with the inappropriate jokes? Was he serious? Were they going to get different… Parts? Patton covered his face at the thought and tried to choke back a whimper, but it still managed to claw its way out of his throat. Virgil winced at the sound, and felt his heart ache.

He took a step forward, arm outstretched to Patton. He wanted to comfort him. As he opened his mouth to speak, the distinct click clack of boots were heard on the kitchen tile. Virgil whipped his head around to see a side enter the room, wearing a doctor’s jacket over a brown button-up shirt. If you looked at his body, he looked perfectly normal. Virgil knew that’s not what they saw though. 

The Doctor’s eyes were rotted, covered in ripped scabs. A mix of old, black and fresher red blood dripped down the eye sockets and cheeks. The faint pit pat of the blood hitting the tile could be heard in the stillness of the room. Virgil had thrown up the first time he saw the Doctor; he couldn’t imagine how the others felt.

Logan swallowed, throat suddenly feeling very dry at the sight of this tall, disfigured side. Patton looked up, confused by the silence, and he froze up. He was sure he would have screamed, if his throat hadn’t locked up. All that left him was a surprised, breathless gasp as he grabbed Roman’s arm as tight as he could. He tried to think rationally, think that maybe this side was like Rage and was actually good, but he couldn’t make himself believe it. Roman was trying to steady his breathing, allowing Patton to grab onto him. He didn’t make any audible signs of distress, and kept his face neutral. He had already been a fool twice, being afraid of Dark Sides that meant him no harm. Even so, he discreetly grabbed his sword for comfort at the unsettling appearance of the Doctor, readying himself for any sudden movements he might make. 

“Pardon my interruption,” The Doctor said, his voice a jarring contrast to his face, “But you said you wanted the test, Virgil?” Virgil gave a nod. He was surprisingly relaxed, considering the side’s appearance.

“Yeah, please. I’ve… I’ve been meaning to ask for a while…” He said, rubbing his upper arm, the Doctor nodded and held out a canvas bag. Virgil took it gingerly.

“That has everything you’ll need,” the Doctor said calmly, seemingly oblivious to the tension in the room. Virgil gave a small sigh in relief, opening the canvas bag to look inside. 

“Thanks Doc…” The taller side cleared his throat and Virgil looked up to see him tilting his head, looking at Virgil expectantly. Virgil felt his face heat in shame and he looked away. “Yeah, yeah…” He murmured, “I know I haven't been in for a check up for a while, but I’ve been busy! And I’m fine, so there was no need-”

“Both Janus and Remus have informed me of your unhealthy food habits. On top of that, you’ve remained alive for a year and a half,” the Doctor cut him off with a stern expression. “Honestly, it’s a miracle you haven’t vanished by now. I expect you in my office tonight.” The way he spoke left no room for argument. Virgil scowled in Remus’ direction, who simply snickered behind his hand. Virgil looked down at the kettle of water still sat on the stove. 

“I was planning on dying today…” He huffed irritably. The Doctor rolled his eyes, the best he could with his rotting flesh and scabbed corneas. 

“Very well. Carry on. I do want to see you as soon as you reform, though.”

Logan bit his lip, watching the exchange apprehensively. He wanted to speak up, but his body felt frozen. Something about this Side made him... uneasy. Luckily, it seemed he wasn’t the only one wanting answers from this “Doctor” character. Roman spoke up, hand still resting on his sword. To a stranger, he would have looked totally relaxed, but to Logan, it was obvious how tense he was about the situation. Roman really was a fantastic actor.

“Excuse me, but if I may… Who are you?” Roman tried to keep his voice steady and as friendly as he could manage in this situation, despite the anxiety boiling over inside of him. The Doctor looked over at Roman, facing him head on, and Roman had to will himself not with wilt under his gaze. He couldn’t put into words how intimidating it was, being stared down at with those bloody, rotted eyes. Roman was used to being the tallest in the room. His grip subconsciously tightened on the hilt of his sword, and he sat up a little straighter in his chair, trying to seem unafraid.

“Oh, how rude of me. I’m Thomas' Laziness. I also happen to be the Dark Palace’s main doctor. You are this generation’s Creativity, correct?” Roman silently nodded. “Ah. I used to be a Creativity too.” Roman felt his eyes widen. This Side… was a Creativity like him? But… Roman could never see himself being a doctor, and… his eyes… Roman felt a sudden urge to grab at his face or look in a mirror, just to be sure nothing had changed.

Patton’s grip on Roman relaxed as Laziness introduced himself. As unsettling as his appearance was, he seemed nice enough, and he seemed to care about Virgil’s well being… and Virgil liked him well enough... There should be no reason that he was afraid. Then, he’d be no better than when Janus first revealed himself. Patton forced out a question, trying not to look at the Side’s face in case it caused him to lose his nerve. “I-If it’s not too much to ask, wh-what… What happened to your eyes?”

The Doctor raised a mangled eyebrow, and Patton was worried for a moment that he had offended him, before he muttered a soft “oh” and laughed to himself. It didn’t seem scathing or rude, or even directed at Patton. It seemed to be towards himself, like some sort of inside joke. “Yes, that! It’s simply a wound I received after becoming a Dark Side. However, I require it for my job.” Roman and Logan looked between each other, exchanging confused looks, and the Doctor hummed. He turned to Remus, seemingly reluctantly. “I’ll assume you have an injury of some sort?” Remus answered with a wide grin.

“Awe, Dr. Dick, are you finally offering to heal me for once? Y’know, I’ve got a cut on my cock that-” Remus was quickly cut off by the regretful looking doctor, face scrunching up at Remus’ language. 

“Please, Remus. I just want a cut on your arm to give them an example of what my eyes can do.” Remus groaned, but pulled up his sleeve. 

“You never let me have any fun,” Remus complained, sticking his tongue out at the taller side. The Doctor seemed to simply ignore him, and scanned Remus’ arm, eyes settling on a sizable cut on his forearm. Roman and Patton cringed as the Doctor stuck two of his fingers into one of his eyes, the fingers coming away covered in blood and rotted eye fluid. He hovered the fingers over Remus’ arm, and closed his eyes. This seemed to make the blood glow a warm green, and the Doctor opened his eyes to apply it like a gel onto the cut. The cut, as large as it was, slowly knit itself together until it didn’t even leave a scar, and the green blood goop had sunk into the skin.

Patton’s eyes were wide as he stared at Remus’ arm. His disgust had completely disappeared in favour of wonder. Logan was muttering under his breath, pen gripped in his hand. As impressed by the blood as he was, he wasn’t content to sit idly by like Patton was. He wanted to study it, find out what it was made from, how it worked…

Logan was brought out of his thoughts by a ringtone. He turned, seeing the Doctor fish his phone out of his lab coat with a confused look on his face. He clicked to answer it, and despite not having his speaker on, Rage could be heard throughout the room. "GET THE FUCK BACK HERE! I'M GETTING CLAUSTROPHOBIC IN HERE ,YOU ASSHOLE, AND IF YOU DON'T GET HERE IN THE NEXT 3 MINUTES I SWEAR TO FUCKING GOD I WILL-" The speaker on the phone crackled, before falling silent. The Doctor wore a neutral expression as he looked at his phone.

“Oh dear...” He mumbled, taking long, calculated strides towards the window. “Well, it seems like I must be going.” He opened the window and climbed out and up, in unsettling, spidery movements. 

Logan bit his lip, attempting to process everything that he had just seen. He was more curious now than he had been before about the other Sides in the Dark Palace. Patton, however, still felt... Off. He wished he knew why. Something about this new Side felt wrong. Roman couldn’t help feeling weirded out by the Doctor going out the window, but still he felt a swell of pride with himself for being brave enough to talk to this new Side, despite his deeply unsettling appearance.

Roman took a deep breath in, and looked over to Virgil. “So… Shall we do those… Tests? I would like to know…” Virgil nodded, pulling a syringe out of the canvas bag. The syringe was unlike any that Roman had ever seen before. Attached to it was a small device holding a screen, which showed a green 0. Virgil looked from the syringe to the group, eyes holding clear anxiety.

“So… Who’s going first?” His voice was soft and tentative, as if he was afraid to ask. Logan reached out towards the syringe. 

“May I?” Virgil started to hand him the syringe, but Remus came up from behind him and grabbed it before Logan could. 

“May I?” Remus asked, mocking Logan’s voice. Virgil glanced over at Logan, who simply rolled his eyes, but gave a nod anyways. Virgil huffed. 

“Alright,” Virgil relented. “Fine. Just play nice.” Remus nodded and grabbed Logan’s arm much more gently than he would have thought the side capable of. He started moving the syringe towards Logan’s arm when he stopped him.

“Hold on…” Thoughts raced through Virgil’s mind. Was Logan having second thoughts? Was Remus being too rough? Did he not want to know when he was going to die? Was it because Virgil had been a Logic and now he was Anxiety and Logan didn’t want to be like him and he thought that if he just avoided it he wouldn’t turn out so broken because who would want to be like him- “You need to sanitize the area before you insert the needle, in order to prevent infection.” Virgil let out a breath he wasn’t aware he was holding. He looked down into the canvas bag hurriedly before Logan could look at him, face flushing in embarrassment. He had forgotten about that. He pulled out an alcohol pad and handed it to Remus, still not looking at Logan. 

Remus chose to open the alcohol pad packaging with his teeth in an oddly sexual manner, making Roman cry out in disgust behind Logan. Logan had half expected this behavior, and only rolled his eyes. He was more concerned that Remus might tear the pad itself, or ingest the alcohol. He relaxed as Remus started to clean his arm and the needle with the pad, and forced himself not to tense up as the needle pushed past his layer of skin. Virgil looked away from Logan, not wanting to see the blood Remus took. 

He forced himself to look back over after a few seconds, his stomach twisting as he saw the dark liquid filling the syringe. Remus pulled the needle out of Logan’s arm and looked at Virgil expectantly. Virgil felt his throat tighten and dry as he tried to speak, his eyes fixated on the blood despite his heart picking up in pace. “The, uh… The button at-at the top…” Remus nodded. Virgil moved his eyes to the screen, it flashing to show a few dots before settling on the text “One Week Ago”. Logan furrowed his brow as he looked at the screen, attention barely on the absent motion of him putting a band-aid on his arm.

“What does that mean?”

Virgil looked away, feeling more sick to his stomach. He knew the blood didn’t look quite right. “Oh, uh…” He started, “I think it means that the machine messed up…” He lied. Remus looked at Virgil accusingly. 

“You know very well how these devices work. I don’t think it made a mistake,” Remus said, giving the screen a pointed look.

"What… What is it saying?" Patton asked nervously from behind Logan. The three others looked at him with curiosity, and Virgil felt an anxious spike in his chest. He looked over to Remus, his chest feeling too tight to form a sentence. He wasn’t sure if Remus was able to tell what he was asking, but he seemed to get the message. 

“It says you were supposed to kick the bucket a week ago,” Remus said nonchalantly. Roman’s face grew pale and he sat up straighter in his chair. He looked between Logan and the two Dark Sides, seemingly looking for instructions on how to react. Logan just hummed, seeming unsurprised.

"I see… Very well,” Logan began. “Am I still allowed to learn more about turning? I would like to do what I could to find a guide, or a book on this topic.”

Virgil felt the words bubble out before he could think. “Of course, but just… Be careful. If you-If you start seeing black marks on your body, then… Please drink this tea as soon as possible… If-If you die naturally, it’ll be more than painful.” Logan nodded.

“Would you, by chance, have a bottle I can carry on me so I can drink it when the need arises?” 

“I’ll make it for him!” Remus chirped. “Oh! I have an idea!” He looked at Virgil expectancy. Virgil raised a brow.

“What is it this time?”

“How about I just leave him in the library?” Remus grinned widely. Virgil furrowed his brow.

“You mean, the one we were just in? I mean, I guess you could, but what difference would it make?” He blinked at Remus, confused. Remus snickered.

“I mean the big one, Virgie!”

"Oh… Are you sure that's a good idea? I mean… it's blocked off for a reason..." Virgil murmured, scratching at his arms. His tone was verging on unsure, but seemed willing to try. Logan looked over at Virgil, a small frown on his lips. 

“Why is this library blocked?” He asked. Virgil worried his bottom lip, turning words over in his head as he thought over explanations

"The large library is controlled by the Dark Palace, which I've already told you kinda has a mind of its own, so it's gonna throw you around like a ping-pong ball or something till it… gets what it wants to happen… to happen…” Virgil started. “As for it being blocked off... knowledge is power and all that shit, and I'm sure some Sides could create worse madness than the Duke with that kinda information... It has all our personal info in there, and on top of that, there are books that are meant to write your story as you go." 

Logan nodded, seemly understanding. "I see. Well, as far as the Dark Palace goes, I will accept where ever it takes me. If it behaves the way you said, it could help me.” Virgil gave a small sigh, and nodded.

“Alright… Who’s next?” Roman pushed himself out from his chair and stood, walking around towards Remus and Virgil.

“I-I… I’d like to know.” Remus grabbed another alcohol pad and syringe, and Roman pushed up one of his sleeves. The silence was almost overbearing as Remus sanitized the needle and Roman’s arm, the only sound a hiss from Roman as the needle was poked into his skin. Remus pressed the button on the syringe, and it flashed a few times before settling on “One Day”. Logan was applying a band-aid to Roman’s arm, and when Roman saw the screen, his face paled slightly. He pulled his arm back from Logan and ran his fingers over the bandage gently, wincing slightly. He forced a brave smile, but it was too wide, too tight.

“That’s… Really soon.” There’s no way he could get a guide by then.

Virgil nodded, sympathy in his eyes. Roman hated it. He didn’t want his pity. “I-I know... Trust me, Princey. I understand...” Logan nodded. 

“Yes, you’re right, but the way I see it, it might be better to get this over with as quickly as possible,” Logan admitted. Roman just nodded silently, folding in on himself a small bit. He couldn’t help it. He was ashamed that he was so scared, but could you blame him? What he hated most, he was now becoming… He didn’t have time to prepare. He didn’t understand. He was confused, and nervous, and had no one to guide him why was this happening to him- 

He jumped as a hand ran over his back. Roman quickly pulled away from Virgil’s touch. “I-I… I think I need some space…” He mumbled. Virgil felt a pang of hurt in his chest, but tried not to let it get to him. He knew Roman was just overwhelmed. Virgil backed away and gave the prince the space he wanted.

Remus looked over at Patton, pointing the last syringe at him. Patton’s eyes were trained on the needle, and he leaned away slightly. “Uh… W-Watch where you’re waving that thing, kiddo…” He said nervously. Remus rolled his eyes, not moving the needle. 

“Yeah, well, it’s your turn anyways.” Patton felt a shiver run up his spine. He didn’t like needles at all. Just watching the others had been enough to make him feel faint. He turned away, looking deliberately away from the needle. 

“Alright, kiddo… go ahead.” He flinched when he felt the coolness of the alcohol pad hit his arm. Logan sat next to Patton and grabbed his free hand in an attempt to distract him. When Remus pushed the needle in, Logan squeezed his hand, hard, and Patton couldn’t even feel the needle. When Remus finally pulled the syringe out, Patton let out a breath he wasn’t aware he had been holding, and Logan gave him a gentle smile, making him smile back. 

“Done~” Remus said in a sing-song voice, pressing the button. Patton looked up for a moment, only long enough to see the screen read “Ten Days”. He sighed in relief and rested his head on Logan’s shoulder, feeling exhausted. “Looks like he got it easy,” Remus said with a small frown. It didn’t take long before his lips quirked back up into a smirk. “At least I have plenty of time to tell him about dicks!” Patton flushed bright red and turned to hide his face in Logan’s shirt.

Virgil sat back down, earning him a scrolling, if not slightly concerned look, Remus. Virgil looked absolutely exhausted, likely from a mixture of his poor diet and his own anxiety. He buried his head in his hands, looking about to fall asleep. “Tch,” Remus tsked. “I’ll assume you need that tea now?” Virgil looked up, his eyes grateful as he nodded silently. Remus pulled the kettle off the stove top and poured it into a black coffee mug. Remus seemed to have burnt his hand, the skin already turning an angry red, but he didn’t seem to notice, or he didn’t care. Roman shifted his eyes from his brother to Virgil.

“You aren’t… Really going to drink the tea… Are you?” Roman asked. He couldn’t help the hope in his voice. Virgil blinked at Roman slowly. 

“I am… I kind of need it… I’ve been doing nothing but worrying and worrying since I came to the Mind Palace, and maybe I could get away with that if my diet was better, but… I really need a moment of peace… Okay?” Roman felt the hope die out in his chest, curdling into something sour. Why was this something Virgil needed to do? He made it sound so calming, so peaceful, and Roman wanted that peace. He was going to die in a day… He was going to be a Dark Side… He had so much to keep track of and remember and he didn’t have a guide and Virgil was the only one who could maybe help him and Virgil was leaving him-

Patton’s eyes followed Remus as he made Virgil tea. Remus pulled a tea bag out from the tea box, and was watching the purple colour seep into the water. Patton felt a bittersweet pang in his heart. Doing something like this, despite how backwards, to help Virgil, made Patton want to trust him. He wanted to talk to him about his thoughts, his fears, even though he knew he had seen how violent and reckless he could be. Like this, he was seeing Remus in a completely different light, and he couldn’t help but hope that Remus could be good, was good. But his gut said he wasn’t, and his heart told him to stay away. 

Remus sat next to Virgil, placing the mug in front of the Anxious Side. "You sure you need that tea?” Remus teased, “‘Cause you already look dead!" Virgil rolled his eyes and huffed a laugh into his drink as he raised it to his lips. Logan felt goosebumps crawl up his back as Virgil took the first sip, and Patton wanted to look away, but it was like he was watching a car wreck; his eyes were glued to the mug. Roman felt much the same, but he felt anger rising in him to match- he couldn’t believe Virgil would just die like this!- but he knew saying something would only make things worse. 

Virgil let out a soft sigh, eyes fluttering closed as he pulled the mug away. “I… Forgot how good the tea actually tastes…” He opened an eye lazily in Remus’ direction. “You sure this isn’t blueberry or something?” Remus snickered in response. 

“Oh, come now, Virgie! How dull would that be!” Virgil huffed another lazy laugh and let his eye fall shut again. “Now, how should I take care of your body this time?” Remus asked. Roman clenched his fist at the question, hand subconsciously inching towards his sword. He was caught off guard by Virgil responding.

“Just… Cut it up and put it in the composers tonight… Or you could just throw the body outside… I know you did that last time and my body composed on it’s own pretty well…” Virgil’s words were slurring slightly the longer he spoke. He sounded exhausted. Roman looked down at the table, unable to look at Virgil or Remus any longer. A war of sadness and anger raged inside him. His eyes stung with tears he refused to let fall.

Remus smiled excitedly as he spoke. “Ooooh, I missed these conversations! We should do this more often!” He exclaimed. Virgil smiled sleepily and nodded, finishing off the last of his tea. 

"Yeah, I… Kinda missed this too…" Virgil admitted. He pushed the mug towards the center of the table and folded his arms on the table, bringing his head to rest on them. His breathing slowed, slowed, slowed… Until it stopped entirely. At a glance, it looked like Virgil was sleeping, but the others all knew he was really gone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey y'all! Headphones here. The fic will probably have slow updates for a little while. Neon went to the emergency room and was told they have an extreme tooth infection that, if they didn't start treating immediately, could have stopped their heart. They are taking a hiatus to heal, and are on pretty heavy medication, so they can't exactly write. I'll slowly be updating our backlogged chapters, but once those are done, the fic will be on hiatus until they are better. 
> 
> In other news, I am rewriting the first chapter. I will leave a note on the next chapter when I have it finished. make sure to go back and read it!


	12. Remus' Diary

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> My name’s Remus. I was one half of a person and now I’m forever split from the person I used to be. Janus asked me to start this journal to “find myself”. Both Virgil and Janus have been helping me to find myself after Roman split us. I’m supposed to be a Light Side, which is weird, cause I feel odd about it. I dunno why, it just doesn’t feel right.

8/7/2018

Hi! My name’s Remus. I was one half of a person and now I’m forever split from the person I used to be. Janus asked me to start this journal to “find myself”. Both Virgil and Janus have been helping me to find myself after Roman split us. I’m supposed to be a Light Side, which is weird, cause I feel odd about it. I dunno why, it just doesn’t feel right. But Janus has been nice about this. He even made me clothes that are kinda similar to some of the Dark Side’s but more detail and with my favorite color! 

Even Virgil's been respecting the name I choose for myself! I'm still nervous about being a Dark Side, but it feels natural. Like I was one from the beginning. It's hard to explain. 

8/9/2018

I'm back! Recently, Virgil has been talking about doing Light Side shit, and it's been boring. He’s even talking about being a Light Side, but it’s been causing his body extreme issues. Like, he’s been throwing up black liquid. I've seen him eat cooked meat and fruit and he’s getting really skinny. I keep trying to tell him to stop. It hurts me to see him like this! It truly breaks my heart. He’s really gone too far... 

To make him feel better, we've been role-playing as Light and Dark sides! It's been really fun! After that we went to the park. Most Sides that see me have been calling me a Dark Side, which makes me feel nice… though Virgil was called a Dark Side too. He looked upset. I wonder if he feels the same way I do, or if he just wants to be a Light Side to fit in with his new family? I can’t tell. 

Also! Also! I finally got my hair done today! Janus dyed it for me! He even made the dye from scratch! I’m so happy to finally have it done. Been wanting to cut this long hair for a while… even thought about pulling a Jan and wearing a stripper hat. I might try stripping for a bit. It sounds like fun, and knowing Janus, he probably knows some people who could help us out! Oh! I’m supposed to write about it being just… me. I’m still getting used to, y’know… being apart. I know he was bad for me, I don’t know why I miss him so much. I just want to get him out of my head! I’ve been thinking about what Janus suggests, going to therapy? I might go soon… Everything has been so hard on me lately. It’s all been so overwhelming. I just… feel like a mess right now. 

8/19/2018

It’s been awhile since I’ve written, and… a lot has happened. None of it is good. I went to the therapist and I told him about my need to be a Dark Side even though… Well, the therapist told me what was happening. I even showed him this journal! Turns out I was going through early signs of Side Dysphoria. He explain that it might be connected to depression and to sleep issues I’ve been having, so we worked on those but... Even after all the tests and medication, all of this and that, I still feel that need to be a Dark Side. So I went to another therapist, and now I have 20 therapists and psychiatrists, and all of them are saying that, if possible, I should try to become a Dark Side. So, I tried. Janus helped, but nothing… I couldn’t turn. Janus and I did research together, and we found out that I can’t, cause my brother and I have to turn at the same time. Which is just… Great. And then on top of all this, I walked into Virgil nearly vanishing from trying to be a Light Side again! 

Janus says to do what I can to feel okay, but with everything that’s been going on, nothing feels okay. I'm sorry Janus. I'm trying so hard to be okay for you. To be happy for you. I love you so much, but it's so hard, harder than I ever thought it would be. I'm gonna end this log here. I just need to talk to Janus right now. 

\----------

dear logan   
long story short this book randomly hit me in the head so now I'm throwing it to you. look man you're a fucking idiot but I'm sorry. i wish i was a better guide. I'm just a drunk loner who got lucky to even have someone to guide. i care about you man. even if you are moron at times your my moron my moron to protect and guide and I want you safe so if you manage to get this book i can not beg you enough fuck I'll even get on my knees and suck your dick man. just please come back. you have a life ahead of you and a family that needs you. so just come back 

ps. tell Remus he writes like a fucking girl when you get back. also this is Mr J if that wasn't obvious by my drunk writing

**Author's Note:**

> if anyone wants to help with the fanfiction in anyway when it comes to making the podfic feel free to message me on discord which is neondemon69#4240


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